Springfield, USA: During tonight's third Presidential debate, Republican nominee, Senator John McCain insured the now famous "Joe the Plumber" (Joe Wurzelbacher) that he, Senator McCain, was the better candidate to meet Joe's needs. Senator McCain spoke to the camera and said "Joe, I want to tell you, I'll not only help you buy that business that you worked your whole life for and be able -- and I'll keep your taxes low and I'll provide available and affordable health care for you and your employees."
Not wasting any time, Senator McCain called Joe Wurzelbacher minutes after the debate. According to a press release just issued by the McCain campaign:
"Knowing that "Joe the Plumber" needs our help, Senator McCain called Joe Wurzelbacher immediately after tonight's debate and hired Mr. Wurzelbacher to fix a leak on McCain's fifth house in La Jolla, California.
"I'm prepared to put Americans to work," said a breathy John McCain.
"I know how to put Americans to work. I have a track record of putting Americans to work. My houses need constant plumbing work. You should see our plumbing bills. I've been told they are quite high. In a McCain/Palin administration, Joe the Plumber will be working for me, and you can count on that! And like I said in the debate, I'll provide Joe and his employees with affordable health care so long as there is a leaky faucet or a stopped up toilet in one of my mansions!"
Joe Sixpack could not be reached for comment.