To My Beloved Public Radio Station -
Twice a year we go through this routine which neither of us likes. You express doubts about the state of my love for you and my devotion to you, and I reassure you that my feelings for you and commitment to you have not changed. Some years, I give you money and other years I don't.
I know you really do need the money... that you're not wasting it. You use it to find and create beautiful things which you then bring to me. These are things which I can't just go out and buy on my own, and I can't create for myself without help. This is one of the things I really love about you.
But, our relationship does trouble me at times. I've been reluctant to discuss this with you, for fear of ruining a good thing. Still, we're living in some really extraordinary times right now and our relationship is showing the strain. I feel I no longer have the luxury of keeping my doubts to myself.
I've never lied to you, public radio. Those countless special moments we've shared throughout the years have all been genuine. We've laughed our asses off together, wept together, drank from the hose of truth together, and sat together in silence, too moved to react.
You've never lied to me, either. But, lately I've found myself wondering whether there might be a lot you're not telling me. I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. When I sense that you're holding back, it puts some distance between us. I'm afraid we may be growing apart, and I don't want to let that happen. We can't let that happen. The things we've shared are too meaningful and too important to let fade away.
You've always been clear and straightforward with me about your needs. At least twice a year, we review our relationship and express our mutual appreciation for each other. These relationship surveys always remind me that whatever I give to you I always receive back tenfold. But is what I'm receiving from you what I really need the most?
When you're making your case for continuing our relationship, you do a great job advocating for yourself. But, it troubles me that you never show any signs of self-doubt. It can't be that you have no self-doubt, that you think you couldn't possibly do better for yourself and for me. I'm left feeling like you're keeping those doubts from me for some reason. Maybe you're afraid that admitting to your shortcomings would make you seem weak in my eyes. Maybe you're afraid I'd leave you if I saw you as weak. More than anything, I want you to trust me. I want you to know that my feelings for you don't depend on your maintaining an image of perfection. Remember, I've seen you first thing in the morning, with typos in your copy and rushed editing in your recorded segments.
Your coverage is great—don't get me wrong. I'm not expecting or demanding perfection. More than anything, I want us to be honest with each other about our imperfections. If we can just keep sight of where we'd like to be and keep moving in that direction, that's good enough for me. That's what we do when we really care about each other, right?
For example—when dealing with a complex and controversial issue, bringing in a representative from the two most prominent positions on the issue to summarize their views in a few sentences isn't balanced coverage. It creates a false impression that the two sides are divided over matters of personal opinion and legitimate variations in viewpoints. Most of the time, one of those viewpoints is provably much less true than the other. Often the less true viewpoint has been reverse-engineered to support an unspoken ideological agenda which can't stand on its own merit. I know it's really hard to take those positions apart and fact-check them carefully. Then, it's brutally hard to connect all the dots for your listeners in a way which leaves any kind of spin or deliberate misinterpretation out of the question. I only mention it because I want you to know that it's important to me.
It's so important, in fact, that I have to have it. Many others who do this less skillfully than you do have, one by one, dropped off my radar screen entirely. The commercial mainstream media and I have barely spoken in years. When I see one of them in passing, I barely even recognize them and I can tell that they have no idea who I am.
Still others, who do the balanced reporting a little better than you do, have been receiving more of my attention. I don't do this to hurt you. In my heart, you are and always will be my first and only true love. But I have to have this. I have to know the truth. When everyone who is willing to speak publicly on a subject that's important to me has their own reasons for wanting me to take away a particular view on that subject, that's when I need you the most. Everyone has handlers now. Every word spoken openly has been engineered by social psychologists, vetted by partisan ideologues and search-engine-optimized by meganerds. More than ever before in my life, I need help digging the truth out from the mountain of truthiness.
I realize that my straying could threaten our relationship. That's why I'm pouring out my heart to you now, before it's too late. I need you to do this thing for me. I need you to be honest with yourself, and with me, about this growing problem. There's still time for you to shift your efforts toward more direct insistence on truth and accuracy from those who use you to spread their viewpoints.
I'm willing to do without a lot of other things, to help you make this happen. I realize that this is going to demand a lot of you, and your resources would be spread dangerously thin if you didn't cut back in some areas. Forget the sports. There, I said it. We both love sports, but there's a massive infrastructure out there which exists to cover nothing but sports. Let them do it. Cut back on the call-in segments of your shows. We both know that we can hear regular folks giving their take on the day's issues whenever we want, without turning on the radio. We hear it all the time. We've got that covered. I need to hear from people who have the skills and resources to find out things I can't find out by asking my next-door neighbor. Lose the fluff. I don't need to know what the typical American's weekend is like, every week. I couldn't care less 'what is the new what'. Fire the pissed-off, interrupting guy. Making a show of never letting anyone finish a sentence isn't really hard-hitting reporting. It's low entertainment, done in the style of news reporting.
Never, ever lose your excellent eye and ear for quality in the creative arts. Some of the stories you've shared with me are among the best I've ever heard, and I will always treasure them. You've introduced me to new music which has become part of the soundtrack of my life. This is something you do better than most, because you have a gift for it. Your gift amazes me, and I never want to find out what life would be like if you couldn't share it with me.
There's one thing I want to make sure you take away from this letter. That is, that I want us to be together forever. I don't see this as the end for us, I see it as a new beginning. I'm taking a chance on you, that my honesty is the thing you need from me most right now. And, if it's what you need, then it's what we need. If we fight for it, this great thing we have could last the rest of our lives and beyond.
While I'm being honest, I could do better in meeting your needs too. I'll try to send the money before you have to come out and ask for it. When I hear things which I think could be better, I'll speak up sooner instead of letting my objections pile up. I'll try to be a better listener, more conscious of the limitations you're working under. I'll try not to let my general distrust of the media creep into our relationship unfairly.
If there's anything else you need from me, please trust me not to think less of you for asking.