In the last two milennia a secret and elite cult has controlled the very history and pulse of our world.
This is the untold saga of their wicked plots. Their wretched hands have seen the undoing of empires and kings and retail chains, ruined weddings and red eye flights next to a snorer or a drunken frat boy or that lady from Queens with eighty pictures of her six month old grandson . This is the havoc they have wreaked on Earth.
These demons on earth and their blinded minions have stolen the great prize from the one they call the Straighttalker. He sat in Congress and the Senate for 26 years and did more favors than a hooker at a stag party. The prize was his and his alone because he knew he would vanquish the Queen of New York and her galley of loyal followers. It is mine,this precious precious prize he cried out to the moon baying like my neighbors nearly abandoned beagle that she pays to get walked. Along this upstart came with his hypnotized servants schooled in the mysteries of the Acornati. They cried out from coffee shop corners and college campuses and inner city barbershops and cried out are you registered to vote and they came unto them and registered and lo, they voted. They that do not vote.
Why,alas, not for me. I spent five years in a cage and do a mean Beach Boys parody. My wife is a perfectly styled zombie. Why him? The Acornati have stolen again with the magic dust of hope rising out of fear and despair. "Stay afraid. No one cares. Wait I care; let me pander here for a second. You all get 50 bucks and a coupon to buy my memoirs: " "5 Years in a Cage Boy, I'm Pissed You Trollop"
Help save us from the intoxicating sensation of love and hope and sharing and vote for four more years of fiction and insanity. The Acornati have brought a voice to those that never speak. Fear That voice. Fear it!