OK, let's steel ourselves for Thursday night's VP debate. I predict that Sarah Palin will be declared or at least perceived to be the winner, so let's not all get angry or depressed.
I think she will 'win' the debate simply because expectations are so wildly low; all she has to do is come aacross as an average, reasonable American and there will be shouts of "Brilliant!" or "Amazing!" or whatever other adjectives the Republican faithful can muster. Here's my take on the keys to a Palin debate victory:
THINGS SARAH PALIN HAS BEEN INSTRUCTED NOT TO DO ON THURSDAY
- Do not attempt any Tina Fey impression.
- Do not ask to buy a vowel.
- Do not ask the Secret Service to conduct a sweep for witches.
- Do not initiate any topic involving bridges, airplanes or state troopers. Better stay away from libraries too.
- Refrain from falling on the floor and speaking in tongues. Under no circumstances attempt to perform an exorcism, even if Joe Biden asks for one.
- Do not demonstrate or discuss any details of moose-skinning.
- Do not discuss man and dinosaurs living in the same time period - this trap typically ends with a punch line implying that you think the Flintstones was a documentary.
- Do not confuse the Bill of Rights and the Ten Commandments.
- Try to remember that the question "How are you?" is not gotcha journalism.
If she avoids these things, how can she lose?