I wrote this little interview satire before the first debate, for the amusement of my friends and to confuse the righty friends of mine. The righties still don’t get this gist of my attempt at humor.
I have lurked in the bushes of DailyKos for a while and finally registered and after waiting the week long (felt like 1000 years) cooling off period, I am able to post this! Yes...the shadow you saw lurking behind your diaries and comments is me; Crazyazdude from McCain’s Arizona.
As this is my first posting ever on dailykos, I'll take any flames, spears, daggers, insults, etc. with a smile on my face and dents on my titanium alloy armor.....Just don't call me a republican though...Them be fighting words!
PRESS: "Do you wish you can relax in Sedona for a few days Senator?"
MCCAIN:"Relaxation is the last thing on my mind. Even in the 5.5 years I spent as a POW, I never relaxed in the filthy rotten prisons."
PRESS:"umm...ok. How are you preparing for the debate?"
MCCAIN:"Just like I did in the 5.5 years as a POW."
PRESS:"huh? But how are you practicing for the debate?"
MCCAIN:"In the 5.5 years as a POW, I befriended a Vietcong. He is my punching bag.’
PRESS:"You are practicing debating with an old Vietcong person?"
MCCAIN:Old? Are you bringing up the age card? That is unpatriotic of you. No one complained about my age when I was a POW for 5.5 years."
PRESS:"No. But how does an ex-vietcong help you debate better?"
MCCAIN:"Debate? No, I said I use him as a punching bag. I must get him some new dentures though. He has the same one from when I was a POW for 5.5 years."
PRESS: "OK! Moving on. Can you clarify your position on the financial nightmare we are going through?"
MCCAIN:"Yes I can. Same as when I clarified my patriotism when I was a POW for 5.5 years."
PRESS:"huh? OK. How would you clarify?"
MCCAIN:"Clarify what? My 5.5 years as a POW?"
PRESS:"NO! your position on the current financial nightmare."
MCCAIN:"Don’t talk to me about nightmares boy! I had nightmares ever since my 5.5 years as a POW. This financial nightmare is just that. A nightmare for the sissies."
PRESS:"Are you calling the American people sissies?"
MCCAIN:"Don’t put words into my mouth! The Vietcong tried putting many things in my mouth in the 5.5 years that I was a POW."
PRESS:"WHAT IS YOUR POSITION ON THE FINANCIAL SITUATION?"
MCCAIN:"The basics of our economy are sound. Only those who were POWS for over 5.5 years will understand that."
PRESS:"Can we please lay off the POW rant for each and every question I ask?"
MCCAIN:"You are a liberal sissy aren’t you? You have to criticize my experience as a POW for 5.5 years."
PRESS:"Huh? The economy sir? What are your thoughts on what is going on?"
MCCAIN:"I will not consult with Zappa on the economy, if that is what you pinky commie are asking me. I never broke down in the 5.5 years as a POW and I don’t intend on breaking down now."
PRESS:"Zappa? You mean Zapatero?"
MCCAIN:"Is that what Frank Zappa is going by these days? His music almost rattled me to the point of confessing when I was a POW for 5.5 years."
PRESS:"Frank Zappa the singer is no more Senator. I meant Zapatero, the prime minister."
MCCAIN:"Frank is no more? Ok. I do not talk to latin American leaders. Heck I never talked to the Vietcong when I was......"
PRESS:"a POW for 5.5 years?"
MCCAIN:" You know about my POW experience? Even though I never talk much about my 5.5 years as a POW. It has become such a storied tale."
The reporter runs away screaming.