Yes, My Good Friends, I know I have suggested on at least a few occasions, that Karl Rove was right, back in 2000, when he said that the five years Johnny War Hero spent as a guest at the Hanoi Hilton, had fried his brain.
And, of course...Johnny McNuts had really done nothing to convince Karl, me, or anyone else that we were incorrect in our assessment.
However...one would THINK, that a Campaign which was smart enough to realize it had to spend at the least the $150,000 that we KNOW about to make Sarah Palin LOOK the part of a Political Whore...would ALSO know that something would have to be done about the rambling, at times incoherent, and not even borderline psychotic pronouncements eminating from the very TOP of the Ticket.
It would be virtually impossible to chronicle ALL or even close to ALL of the weird, wild, wacky stuff which has been launched by the pre-cancerous vocal chords of John Sidney McCain. There are only tweleve days to go before the election, and if I just started rattling them off now...none of us would have time to go and vote...let alone drive others to the polls.
However...John The Plumber's Helper stopped off at a lumber yard in Florida today, where he made three statements BACK-TO-BACK-TO BACK...which just made me think, If I dont write a very short piece highlighting this particular outburst by Johnny McAlzheimer's...I may actually have to harm myself.
So, here goes, My Good Friends.
Earlier today...while touring a lumber yard in Florida, and suggesting that Joe the Unlicensed Purveyor of Butt Crack...somehow owned, worked AND shopped at the store, all at the same time (presumably waiting on himself)...Johnny Fork Tongue made the following three claims...ALMOST SIMULTANEOUSLY.
1. Obama is a Socialist.
2. Obama will say ANYTHING to win this election.
3. I want the government to immediately buy up all of the bad mortgages in the country, so we can keep these people in their homes.
Even the guy who paid for Sarah Palin's Hooker Shoes and skin-tight leather jacket was breathing a sigh of relief, AND pounding a ten penny nail into is head at the same time.
Let me get this straight...
THE OTHER GUY is a socialist?
THE OTHER GUY will say anything to get elected?
I AM THE GUY who wants the the government to buy a house for everyone less than two weeks before those same people go and cast a vote in an election to determine who will run this democracy?
Hmmmmm...I think I finally understand. It may have cost me way too many live brain cells in the process, BUT...I honestly do get it.
To become President of the United States, you have to compromise every principle you claim you ever believed in, whether you ever believed in those principles or not...THEN, suck up to people you said only eight years ago were either intolerant, or just plain Satanic...THEN hire all of the people who claimed you were psychotic, to run your own campaign...offer no programs, policies, or positions on anything...tell the public all of the reasons why they should NOT vote for your opponent while offering NO reason to vote FOR YOU...find a Trophy VP candidate to stand next to your Trophy Wife that you committed adultery with after your OTHER wife had a disfiguring car accident...dress both of your bitches like Ho's, using either Trust Fund Proceeds, OR, monies you sucked out of innocent donors who thought they were paying for TV Ads...hitch your wagon to a Plumber who really isn't a Plumber, who is buying a business but who really isn't buying a business, and who IS A DISTANT RELATIVE OF THE SAME CHARLES KEATING THAT YOU SOLD YOUR OFFICE TO when you first got elected to the Congress...and, FINALLY...keep a straight face while you tell NASCAR fans that THE OTHER GUY IS A SOCIALIST...right before you tell the same group that you want the Free Market Capitalist Government of The United States of America TO BUY EVERY AMERICAN A HOUSE.
Wow...I am REALLY glad I am clear on what it takes to become the President.
It IS no wonder that guys like Warren Buffet, Colin Powell, and those like them, just dont want to have anything to do with public life. I dont know how ANYONE has what it takes to manage all of THAT.
Thank GOD we had Johhny BiPolarDisorder to make it all so clear for us.