How my gay ex-Mormon friend got his California Mormon brother to vote NO on Prop 8!
In previous diaries, I had discussed how my friend "Curly", who happens to be both a former Mormon with missionary experience in Europe and who is gay, convinced his fairly conservative married-in-the-church, temple-recommend holding brother in California to vote NO on prop 8. This is not a "big diary", but a small diary that may help Californian activists sell to a tough crowd.
- "Curly's" brother "Moe" is a financial services professional, I won't say where within California. As noted in a previous diary, he had gotten a lot of pressure from his bishop during a "temple recommend" meeting. In the LDS church as is somewhat well-known, to participate in important services in the Temple (as opposed to ordinary local church services) or even to enter the Temple as a guest at a Temple service, one must be in good-standing with the church and possess a "temple recommend" card. Getting this regularly renewed card requires a peroidic meeting with one's local bishop or ward leader, during which a brief examination is made of the good standing and moral uprightness of the person to be recommended (or not.)
"Moe" had caught direct pressure from his bishop or ward leader (I am not sure which) at his temple recommend meeting not only to post a pro Prop 8 sign in front of his house, but also to make a substantial cash donation to the pro Prop 8 campaign (it might have been $1,000, I forget.) "Moe" objected on the grounds that this was an improper use of a religious event, even though Moe DID support Prop 8.
- "Moe" based his support for Prop 8 under the theory that a "civil union" would be equivalent to marriage after Prop 8 and would provide for full civil rights for same-sex couples. Moe was surprised to learn (after a careful forwarding of information by "Curly" to him" that civil unions, in practice, cost more to obtain and realize than marriage does, and that it has become apparent that civil unions are indeed treated differently from marriage, starting with the U.S. Tax Code.
- As noted, "Moe" is a faithful Mormon who is active in his local church. His wife's family is heavily involved in the church; even the event of a 13 year-old male "receiving the priesthood" (like a Bar Mitzvah only 1/100 as festive/significant in general) is significant in the family. "Moe" is not a radical; accountancy is not known for its radical edge and he is no exception.
- In the end, what sold "Moe" was an article from the Minnesota Star-Tribune reporting that the LDS Church had issued a proclamation giving moral leeway for LDS members to vote their conscience on the issue:
that Latter-day Saints are free to disagree with their church on the issue without facing any sanction, said L. Whitney Clayton of the LDS Quorum of the Seventy. "We love them and bear them no ill will."
"Moe" wanted not to violate his conscience and the teachings of his church, and was relieved that he COULD vote no without setting outside the boundaries of his community. "Moe" was strongly influenced by "Establishment Clause" concerns (or, perhaps more technically correctly, the spirit and purpose of that clause).
I go into detail here because it's tempting to demonize the bigots who are pushing Prop 8. But for every bigoted asshat, there are 99 people who see their conservative church or other house of worship as their pillar, their moral guide, their source of support in pain and grief and their social network. It won't be secular liberals like me who win on Prop 8 (i.e. bury it in the ground, with a stake and silver bullet and a garlic patch up top.) We "dirty f****ng hippies" are already on board; we just need to show up (a critical turnout issue in itself). But the pivot is going to be faithful Catholics, Mormons, Baptists and Presbyterians, religiously observant Jews and others who will make the distinction between what one renders to Caesar (no more power than is necessary to effect justice) and what a religious person renders to his or her G-d.
It occurs to me that that article might persuade some moderate Catholics, by analogy, to distinguish legal marriage from the sacrament of marriage. The Catholic Church does not recognize civil divorce in itself as permitting a new marriage (HAT TIP to commenter below); it need not permit same-sex marriage either (though Prop 8 proponents would have you hallucinate otherwise.)
Maybe some folks here smarter than I can come up with ways to win over the hundreds of thousands of "Moes" that we need to win this. Please, take the floor with my thanks, and please tag this diary as appropriate with better tags.