[Update: Poll didn't publish for some reason, damn, that's what I get for writing this at 2 in the morning on all hallow's eve... maybe next year when we're all socialists I'll try again]
I am a socialist! Flee, run for you lives!!! For god's sake, at least protect your eyes, quick, hit the back arrow, or home or return to your late night (or early morning) porno-surfing (if age appropriate;)).
Just one problem, I'm not really sure which socialist costume to wear for halloween. Perhaps you can help me figure it out, it's really all so frightening.
We hold these truths to be self evident, All men, er, persons are created equal.... Should I dress up as Thomas Jefferson? Or perhaps Karl Marx? Ixnay Marxay, the theory of communism payed homage to Jefferson's sentiment, but we really are all gentle unique snowflakes (h/t LB). And forget Jefferson too, not only was he a slave-owner and he didn't fight hard enough to get any freaking mention of the right to pursue happiness into the actual Constitution of the United States pfffffft! :p
Am I a democratic socialist? Or a market socialist? Hmmm... I can't be a democratic socialist, because in this here democracy there's only one kind of socialist -- and I ain't know commie lovin' wild Marxian Amerikan! But surely I can't be a market socialist, the concept just hurts my head too much and my partner refuses to dress the Chinese gal to my G.W. costume.
Oooo, oooo! How about a libertarian socialist -- I like individual freedoms! But there's that pesky assertion that statist government must be minimized to the point of irrelevancy; only to be replaced by other forms of governance that might be better or worse. I don't know, it all seems to depend on the quality of leadership...
What to do, who to be? Oh, but you know the answer already, don't you?
I will be a socialist that cares about equality of opportunity in health and education
I will be a socialist that cares about the future of the planet that I share with a few billion soul mates
I will be a socialist that cares about the costs of war, the lives lost, the families destroyed
I will be myself, a socialist
and after halloween, I will vote for another socialist, though leary he may be to be called one.