ZOMG, I SEE BLACK PEOPLE!!!!!
The chairman of the Hillsborough County Republican Party thinks some people might have misunderstood this e-mail:
THE THREAT:
. . . I SEE CARLOADS OF BLACK OBAMA SUPPORTERS COMING FROM THE INNER CITY TO CAST THEIR VOTES FOR OBAMA. THIS IS THEIR CHANCE TO GET A BLACK PRESIDENT AND THEY SEEM TO CARE LITTLE THAT HE IS AT MINIMUM, SOCIALIST, AND PROBABLY MARXIST IN HIS CORE BELIEFS. AFTER ALL, HE IS BLACK--NO EXPERIENCE OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS--BUT HE IS BLACK.
Yes - given that my native tongue is American, and I find ALL CAPS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO DECIPHER, I can see how that paragraph might easily have been misunderstood.
I might have read that and thought that, Gee, here's a tolerant, open-minded American who has in his heart the best interests of all voters and the democratic process in our great nation.
Or I might have read that and thought, Shucks, this gentleman is concerned about the availability of sufficient voting machines and other resources at polling places for this inspiring outpouring of early voters.
Or it's possible I could've read that and believed, The man who wrote this believes in the principles upon which this country was founded and for which so many Americans over the past 200 years have fought and died.
I can see how I might have read that and somehow come to think, Whoever wrote this truly has a profound grasp of the essential nature of democracy and equal justice.
It's perfectly understandable how reading that might have led me to say, "This man is the living embodiment of Jesus Christ's teachings here on earth."
It's possible the CAPS LOCK might have thrown people off just enough so that they might read that and go, Y'know, here's a guy who I could see pushing hard to ensure that everyone who is eligible to vote - even the homeless - has that opportunity to exercise that fundamental right.
Yeah, I can see that.
What makes it even more confusing is the rest of the e-mail:
. . .BLACK PRESIDENT.
. . . LIBERAL COLLEGE PROFESSORS . . SOCIALISM AND ANTI-AMERICANISM . . . TERRORISTS ATTACK US . . .
. . .DANGERS . . . POTENTIAL OBAMA PRESIDENCY . . . OUR WAY OF LIFE. . . . SUPPRESSION OF FREE SPEECH . . . UNION . . . DANGERS . . . OUR NATION . . TERRORISTS . . . WELFARE . . ..
THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO STOP OBAMA . . .
. . . YOU GET THE IDEA.
LET'S ALL PRAY . . .
As a public service to the Republican author of the e-mail and the Republican county chairman who forwarded it to hundreds of people, in order to facilitate communication and eliminate the possibility of confusion, I might suggest the party chairman look out his window to get an idea for a much simpler message that would be understood immediately by those the e-mail was intended to reach:
UPDATE: H/t Shelbyville Manhattan in the comments, as well as Kitty - an alternative message for Southerners who have evolved past the Neanderthal stage:
heh
DONATE
VOLUNTEER
NO ON 8