** DISCLAIMER! No potential Thanksgiving main courses were robbed of their corporeal existence within feet of ditzy public officials in the creation of this diary. **
You all have great imaginations, so visualize the following...[your faithful diarist is wearing faded jeans & a black turtle neck - she's sitting on a lone stool in the middle of a dark stage - she slowly brings a microphone toward her face]
I saw the best turkeys of my generation destroyed by ignorance, feathery dirty gobbling, dragged by Wasilla men through the bloody barn in the afternoon looking for a won't - shut - the - f*ck - up Governor...
** DISCLAIMER! No potential Thanksgiving main courses were robbed of their corporeal existence within feet of ditzy public officials in the creation of this diary. **
With the full knowledge & awareness that yet another "this day in history" could be STOLEN by David Shuster - AGAIN, I celebrate the 64th birthday of the skinny guy in glasses that began "Doo Wa Diddy" in this classic scene from Stripes!
Happy birthday Harold Ramis!
Let's Countdown - the "thank Jeebus I have next week off!" edition...
#5 "The Transition" AKA "On Board" AKA "Team Obama" AKA "Raising Hill" - The Times is reporting that "you know who" is giving up the Senate to be "you know what." It could’ve been McCentury...It could’ve been McCentury...It could’ve been McCentury...It could’ve been McCentury... Tim Geithner will be Treasury Secretary; I’ve never heard of him. He looks young! There’s a general named Jim Jones? Ugh, I bet he’s had to live that name down over the last 3 decades or so. He may be National Security Advisor. And, there’s Gov. Richardson, who will be...*&^%$#@!... Commerce Secretary. Oh...boy... somebody’s getting screwed over – big time. *&^%$#@! It could’ve been McCentury...It could’ve been McCentury... John Harwood’s had a busy day! He was on the "Friday News RoundUp" on the Diane Rehm Show earlier today. So much for "no drama Obama." If "you know who" will be "you know what," Mr. Obama’s going to have more drama than he wants. I doesn’t give a rat’s a$$ about "you know who’s" "political clout"! Is she qualified, will she do a good job, or will she go off & pursue her own interests in the foreign policy arena? Gov. Richardson has done this kind of diplomatic thing before. WHERE’S THE F*CKIN’ WASILLA TURKEY VIDEO WHEN I NEED A LAUGH?! The idea that someone or something will be able to get President Clinton "under control" is damn funny. He couldn’t even be controlled during his wife’s POTUS campain (typo intended)!
#4 "What Do We Do Now?" AKA "Market Forces" AKA "Econobamics" - All this craptacular economic news is about getting to the surreal point. That Paul Krugman’s a smart guy! Why isn’t he being mentioned for an Obama economic team? POTUS – Elect Obama may be intending to make the economy a main personal focus in his administration – at least at first. I got no problem with that. Will the American people be patient enough for a complicated tedious solution to this economic mess?
** Hey! David Shuster didn’t steal my "this day in history"! Thank Jeebus... No one shook GWB’s hand; I’m not sure I would, either. Oh, GWB already did a "meet & greet" with the gang. Guys in Japan are wearing bras. Why?! "Boulder – holders" aren’t exactly the epitome of comfort. Han Solo was going to marry a Wookie?! WTF??!! **
#3 "Leaks Mundi" AKA "Leaky Ship of State" - Y’all notice how many times the word "Clinton" was mentioned in David Shuster’s intro to this segment? Once again, those confirmation hearings for "you know who" are going to be damn interesting. I hope these leaks aren’t a signal of what an Obama administration will feature; he’s too smart for that.
BUSHED! "Nipple – Down – Economics – Gate" GWB is still fixated on Janet Jackson’s boobs. "Yet Another CIA CoverUp – Gate" The CIA & Peru went for the "shoot first – ask questions later" scenario with potential drug planes. "Ex Post Facto – Gate" Private contractors will lose their immunity. Once again, will companies like Blackwater still think the big coin is worth the risk of being prosecuted & punished for the mercenary acts they’ve done & will probably want to do?
#2 "Late Call" - There’s Keith at Letterman’s place! Dave didn’t bring up McCentury with Katie Couric in the house?! I guess he had a "Hoosier" moment. Dave had to call her up last night. Keith’s going to be on Martha Stewart’s show???!!!! NNNNNNNnnnnnnnOOOOOOOooooo!!!!!! I DESPISE THAT "WOMAN"! Oh, Keith, say it ain’t so! SAY IT AIN’T SO!! Your agent thought this would be "a good thing"?! Well, if you’re going to do this, at least try to help her get her tongue caught in a mixer or shove her in the oven – PLEASE?! Ugh...Martha Stewart...*&^%$#@! What a *itch...
#1 "Gov. Palin Claims to have Been Oblivious..." - Well, duh! Isn’t she ALWAYS oblivious?! She didn’t know what was going on behind her. R...I...G...H...T. The reporter actually used the term "chopping block" in a question – HA! Too funny! The "good Governor" probably didn’t catch that irony. Plus, I don’t know how much time y’all have spent on a farm around animals & around animals being slaughtered. The smell isn’t exactly aromatic, if you get my drift. One of the Governor’s speech writers is a vegan?! Man, this Wasilla turkey visit just keeps getting better & better.