I am Mormon. I was raised in the church and still live by much of its precepts and teachings. I love the Mormon people.
I opposed Proposition 8. I think that the motive behind the proposition was born of prejudice, paranoia, and ignorance. I am deeply saddened by Tuesday’s result.
As early as I can remember, I was taught to try and emulate the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. My parents and grandparents would talk to me of loving one another and extending a charitable hand to those in need. Growing up, I remember going with my father to paint the homes, mow the lawns, and shovel the sidewalks of the elderly and widowed persons in our neighborhood. I can assure you that the motive behind this service was genuine and for this I remain grateful for my Mormon cultural identity.
The unconditional love for others that I was taught to emulate has, ironically, left me puzzled and amazed that something like Proposition 8 could ever pass. I strain to try and understand the motive behind such legislation and am pained by how hurt members of the gay and lesbian community must feel. Indeed, it is often these sorts of social issues that show us how ugly we can be, how far we have to go.
I can only imagine how those directly affected by the passage of Proposition 8 must feel. I have followed public dialogue surrounding Proposition 8 for some time. I know that there is a lot of anger and even hatred. I am hopeful that we might forge a new path to overcoming this despicable trend in social legislation.
Joseph Smith was the founder of the Mormon Church and is considered by members of the church to be a prophet of God. That is, he is on par with the likes of Noah, Moses, Peter, Paul, and John. Despite what many say, Mormons do not worship Joseph Smith; however, he is highly reverenced by the church’s members. The church was founded, for the most part, in New York and was developed in Ohio. The journey from Ohio to Utah, for Mormons, was marred by violent persecution via beatings, tar and featherings, official extermination orders, and imprisonment. This persecution eventually culminated in the assassination of Joseph Smith.
Among the laundry list of complaints that many have against the Mormon Church is its denial of black members from participating in certain religious ordinances. What is not often known or understood is why such a prohibition likely came about. Joseph Smith and the early members of the Mormon Church were outspoken abolitionist during their time in Missouri and Illinois. The church had many black members and these members participated fully, that is, they were allowed to participate in all religious ordinances. The church grew quickly while in Missouri and Illinois and became a significant political force. When the Mormons were forced to leave Illinois, Nauvoo (the place the Mormons had settled) was the largest city in the state. Following the assassination of Joseph Smith, the succeeding leader of the church, Brigham Young, began the practice of prohibiting black members from participating in certain church ordinances.
The story of the early Mormon Church is complicated and I have given a very unsophisticated and particular summary. Additionally, the fact that the early church was heavily persecuted is not a justification for racist practices and doctrines. However, from a political standpoint it is easy to see why Brigham Young and other members of the church at the time opted to choose a persecutorial path. The Mormon Church was a young organization trying to survive, and the best way to do so was to fall in line with the accepted and general practice of persecution at the time. Kicking against such a trend contributed to the heavy and unrelenting persecution the church faced in its early development.
It is also important to remember that the Mormon Church is less than 200 years old. Much of the trials and tribulations faced by the early members are still very much a part of the cultural fabric of the religion. Just as I was taught to love my neighbor, I was also taught about the sacrifices made by my ancestors and the persecution that they faced. It was a very hard period for the church.
Mormons continue to this day to face bigotry from others. I, personally, can attest to this fact as I have lost friends due to my religious affiliation (and I don’t even practice the religion anymore, I just refuse to reject and repudiate). This bigotry coupled with the persecution faced in the past has led the Mormon community to be sensitive to its place in society. Particularly, the church and its members seem overly preoccupied with being accepted as a "Christian" denomination, so as not to seem too unusual or different. This, in part, explains the heavy involvement of the church in the passage of Proposition 8—because when it comes to social issues the church and its members have learned all to well the price of parting company with mainstream Christian-Judeo values. Likewise, it is important to remember that these values have not just been reflected by the Mormon Church in California, constitutional amendments like Proposition 8 have been passing all over the country with the heavy involvement of all sorts of religious groups and congregations.
Recently my mother (who is still a devout and practicing Mormon) approached me with the "news" that one of my close friends was gay. Turns out he is not, but that is another story. Nevertheless, I remember being struck by how conflicted she was. She was so heartbroken for him and his family. Truly, she believed that it was his cross to bear and a heavy cross at that. So when Mormons say that they love all people, that they do not hate homosexuals...the truth is, I think that they mean it. Is it patronizing? Yes. Is it delusional? Certainly. But it is also genuine. And this is why I think there is hope.
As one might imagine there has been a lot of informal discussions among Mormons and non-Mormons regarding Proposition 8. I honestly do not know a member of the Mormon Church under 30 that thinks the church’s involvement in the Proposition 8 Campaign was a good idea. In fact, most of those I am speaking of opposed the Proposition itself, with all of them opposing the Church’s participation. Sure this might be a self-selective group. And I am not saying that I think the Mormon Church will someday recognize same-sex marriage. But I am saying that much of the church’s current position has been shaped by external pressures that do not affect many of the younger members. I am saying that I do not think that it will always be the way it was on Tuesday.
As the fight for gay and lesbian rights moves forward, I hope that its flag-bearers might be cognizant of the nuances that shape its opposition. That there is a way to disagree and to overcome that is free from reactionary hatred and bigotry.
One of the great victories on Tuesday was the (hopeful) demise of the culture wars. Wedge politics of the past must be discarded as the ugly thing that it is. We should refrain from using visceral anger to motivate and mobilize. Mormons are a people of great compassion. As a community they can be naïve and ignorant. As evidenced by the Proposition 8 results on Tuesday, they are even liable to assuming the most hurtful of political positions. But hatred towards Mormons is not going to lead to equality.
It is time for a new approach; an approach that a person, a community, or a movement might take in combating ignorance. A new way of civil engagement that, coincidentally, was taught by Jesus himself. Maybe it is time to "turn the other cheek." Now I am not advocating that in this loss we give up. Quite the opposite, if ever there was a time to strengthen our resolve and commitment it is now. But it might be time to reevaluate and adjust strategy; time to think critically about progress and failure and how to improve the social conversation. This is a time to love our enemy and avoid bigotry and prejudice. We need to realize that there are many in the Mormon and other religious communities that would be willing to listen, many that want to listen, and many who have been taught to listen. They too can help foster change and progress. Let’s not close that door out of anger.
Clarifications/Responses: After reading through many of the comments below, there are a few things that I would like to clarify.
First, I was hoping that it would be clear that my intention in writing the diary was to help the movement going forward. That is, I was not trying to justify the Mormon Church's behavior or explain away why many members of the church voted and particpated in passing Proposition 8 the way that they did. Rather, I felt that as one who had been raised in the Mormon Church and grew up in a predominantly Mormon community (Utah), that I had some insight as to how many members of the Mormon Church think and feel. It was my hope that in explaining why Mormons act the way they do, we as a community might be able to understand how to better engage and overcome their opposition. I realize that my core assumption was that it would be understood that I was part of a community that opposed Proposition 8; I can see how I did not make that clear. I apologize.
Second, many have rightly pointed out that it might simply be too soon to have such a discussion. I think that this is a fair point and am a bit remiss that I did not think about that earlier. The truth is, I was just hoping that a discussion on how to move forward might aid in the healing process. I should have been more considerate on this front. Once again, I apologize.
Finally, I want to apologize for any unintended hurt or anger I might have caused others. Writing this diary was very much a cathartic experience for me in trying to reconcile my deep disappointment with a community that I know and love. I was deeply troubled by Tuesday's results. I was hurt beyond words that many of those that I love and care about facilitated its path. However, I should not have unloaded that emotional baggage in a way that only enhanced the pain suffered by those directly affected by Proposition 8. I am sorry.