Rod Blagojevich announced this morning that he was back in his office this morning and that he would be conducting "business as usual" as Governor of Illinois. Exclusively at Daily Kos, here is the Governor's schedule for today, leaked to me by Assistant #7.
Time | Location | Activity |
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6:00 AM | Blagojevich residence | In cellar, stuffing documents into furnace. |
6:40 AM | Blagojevich residence | Peering out living room window to spot surveillance teams. |
7:00 AM | Blagojevich residence | Pat down children to look for wires, collect $5 from each child for ride to school. |
Continued. . .
Time | Location | Activity |
---|
7:30 AM | In transit | Drop children at school, lower rear seats in minivan. |
8:00 AM | Staples Office Superstore | Purchase fourteen paper shreds, load in van. |
8:45 AM | Governor's Office | Arrive at office, park in handicapped space. Unload van. |
8:47 AM | Governor's Office | Tell person with actual handicapped sticker to go fuck themselves. |
9:00 AM | Governor's Office | Staff meeting. |
9:15 AM | Governor's Office | Tell staff to go fuck themselves. |
10:00 AM | Governor's Office | Send out 500,000 emails advising recipient that the sender is a high government official who needs to transfer millions of dollars quietly, and can they help? |
10:45 AM | Governor's Office | Tell furnace operator to take rest of the day off, the Governor will look after things. |
11:00 AM | Governor's Office | Disassemble telephone and fax machine looking for listening devices. |
11:30 AM | Governor's Office | Phone call with lawyer. |
12:00 PM | Louie's Lunchonette | Lunch with chief of staff, demand tip from restaurant for not lodging false complaint with health department. |
1:00 PM | In transit | Car phone call with lawyer. |
2:00 PM | Freddie's Numbers Joint (back room) | Campaign fundraiser. |
3:00 PM | In transit | Car phone call with lawyer. |
3:05 PM | In transit | Tell lawyer to go fuck himself. |
3:30 PM | Governor's office | Meeting with chief of staff and chief of staff's lawyer. |
3:35 PM | Governor's office | Post job listing for new chief of staff. |
4:00 PM | Sisters of Mercy Orphanage and Hospice | Demand cash campaign contribution or threaten to spread the word that organization is actually a massage parlor. |
5:00 PM | Land's End outlet store | Personal shopping, clothing, luggage. |
5:30 PM | In transit | Phone call with wife. Wife tells Governor to go fuck himself. |
6:30 PM | O'Hare International Airport (departure lounge) | Meet & Greet with South American bound travelers. |
End of Governor's public schedule. |