Treating Warren and his followers with respect (that they very well might not deserve), can help us to help our progressive allies accomplish their goals.
And by helping them to get what they want, we can help insure that they will help us get what we want.
(Because, lest we forget, MANY of our progressive allies VOTED AGAINST OUR INTERESTS in this past election. The religionists alone could not have defeated us.)
First, let me say that I think that the people who believe that it's gay marriage that lost us the election in 2004 are willfully ignorant or just plain stupid (or possibly homophobic jackasses who want to blame the LGBT community for the shortcomings of the Democratic party and the strategy of our then candidate.)
Second, let me say that I do not think that trying to appease bigots will ever get us our equal rights as LGBT people (the same goes for any oppresed group.)
Third, I am queer as a 3 dollar bill and I've been marching in parades and working at gay and lesbian centers and facilitating coming out groups and writing and developing theatre for social justice plays and publications to combat homophobia, transphobia and gender role facism for about 20 years.
Fourth, I believe that the government has no business being involved in ANY marriages, and that anybody who wants governmental recognition of their partnership should be entitled to a civil union. The churches can take their marriages and stick them wherever they want as long as the government makes sure that all of our "unions" are afforded equal protection under the law.
(of course, I know that ain't gonna happen, so instead of having to individually pass (hundreds of) laws in order to provide same gender unions with the same civil and economic and legal rights as their opposite gender (married) counterparts, the only viable solution (since we have SEEN OVER AND OVER THAT SEPARATE BUT EQUAL DOES NOT WORK) is to remove the bigoted restrictions on marriage so same gender couples can have full access to the rights and responsibilities therein.)
I know LGBT people have been hurt and mistreated.
I know there is a lot of damage and that people like Rick Warren have dealt lots of it out.
But, I also know, first hand, of good, decent progressives who have managed to do good for humanity while being hateful to a segment of the population and I don't think we can afford to throw ANYBODY away at this time of crisis.
I wish my LGBT family would join the larger movement.
I wish our rights to family and equality (important as they are) were not held up (time and time again) as being equivalent to or more important than the rights of ALL people to LIFE, Liberty, food, shelter and healthcare.
Harvey Milk didn’t get elected by being as hateful to the haters as they were to him. He didn’t get elected by saying "The coalition: Love gays or leave it." He got elected by bringing in the unions by letting them know that he would fight for them. By bringing in the seniors by letting him know that he would fight for them. By bringing in the Chinese community by letting them know he would fight for them. Tell me his dedication to their rights and dignity didn’t fundamentally change the way they (many of them) viewed him, and by extension the way they viewed the LGBT movement, and I’ll tell you you’re an idiot. And even many of the unreconstructed gay-hating jerks in those communities VOTED FOR MILK because he helped make them see that his value to them and their rights was worth more than their desire to punish and/or shun the gays.
So, my question is how do we convert Warren’s followers the way Milk converted his?
I understand that refusing to demonize the religionists the way they have and continue to try to demonize us will not make them smack their foreheads as they see the error of their ways and beg our forgiveness (as they join the march, already in progress, towards equality for all).
I get that.
But, I don't believe, like so many of my LGBT brothers and sisters, that treating these religionists with respect will HURT our cause.
And I DO believe that treating them with civility WILL help almost every other progressive cause in which I believe because it will make it possible for these people, wrong as they are about my life and values and worth as a gay man, to join our progressive march (already in progress) towards the end of American imperialism and unjust war, the end of corporate control of the government, the beginning of sustainable agriculture and economic justice and healthcare for all and fair trade and fair wages and a society that values service to each other as much as (if not more than) it prizes rugged individualism and the lie of bootstraps.
I have said it before and I will, sadly, say it again:
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING USED AS A WEDGE.
I'm not a wedge.
I'm a progressive.
And I want to make sure that this movement we are a part of, towards reform of our busted system and away from the failed ideology of conservatism, LASTS longer than previous ones.
Longer than the New Deal.
Longer than the Civil Rights movement.
Longer than the "Progessive Era."
I want to see the conservatives in both parties exiled to the political wilderness for forty years or more. So we can get some SERIOUS work done AND so our serious work isn't going to be unraveled by the forces of regressivism as soon as the energy that we have at this moment begins to dissipate.
So, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm saying that the anger we feel at ignorance and bigotry is bad. That's not what I'm trying to say.
What I'm trying to say (I think, it seems like hours since I started writing this and I just want to take a nap) is that I believe the changes are already in motion, that full equality for LGBT people is inevitable, but that there is still work to be done to educate our own friends and families about why marriage equality is important (because some of THEM voted against us and we can't blame it all on Warren and his supporters when we haven't yet persuaded all of our ALLIES).
So, with that in mind, I wish we could remove one of the most useful wedges that the neocons have used against us by using the enemies of our equal rights as allies in all of the other fights we want to win. Because we might be alone in being on the right side of this issue (and history), but we are on the same side of so many other matters of importance that it seems to me that we can best serve our progressive allies by working with our "enemies" toward our shared, progressive goals.
AND by showing our progressive allies that we value the reforms that are most important to them, by working to help them get what they want (the way Milk helped the unions and seniors and Chinese community), we solidify the support of OUR NATURAL ALLIES, and the next time we need them, they back us up.
(finally, I agree with the people who would like to see a progressive religious figure at the inaguration. I encourage them to stay tuned until Joseph Lowery gives the closing benediction.)