a proposed path toward enlightenment through a new corporate mantra
Bankrobber Willie "The Actor" Sutton put it succinctly. When asked why he robbed banks, he said, "Because that's where the money is."
Or similar words to that effect.
I'd like to ask John Thain (CEO of Merrill) and his fellow exec's: "Why do you rob the US Treasury?"
I'm sure they'd sing in chorus, perhaps even in harmony: "Because that's where the money is!"
So we bail out these deadbeats because too many mom-and-pop investors(or boomer bro-and-sis) have their 401Ks riding on their funds' solvency. And these titanic jerks decide that they need to bail themselves out in the process.
Who are these people? CEO, CFO, CIO, COO . . . down through the alphabet of greed.
"Enlightened self-interest" said Mr. Jefferson, borrowing from Mr. Locke. The underlying premise of a government (either national or, presumably, corporate).
Maybe this is where is it all breaks down. These CEOs and the alphabetic kin have gotten the "self-interest" down cold, viciously, obliviously cold, but seem to be completely lacking in the "enlightened."
Oh sure, the MBA programs just need to add a class in ethics and we'll have that covered. Maybe bring in an "ethics coach" for one of our five-star retreats.
But it seems one ethics class or coach-with-caviar does not enlightenment make.
What would you expect from an "enlightened" business executive?
- A simple sense of reality would be nice. "Hey, fellas (and a few gals), maybe it won't look so good if we take these bonuses right now."
- A commitment to put the interests of their clients, shareholders and even subordinates before their own would be nice. "Geez, I just laid off 5000 people, I probably could have saved at least a 1000 with this bonus money alone."
- A larger sense of their personal "self-interest" than the walls of their McMansions. "You know, if we wreck the economic structure of this country and implode its currency, I'll be left with nothing to eat but what I've stored in the secret pantry: Chef Boy-ar-dee and Spam."
- An inkling of a higher power, spirit (whether a personal God, deistic designer or simple good will toward one's common beings). "You know, I'm really nothing more than an ant on an ant-hill. There are more important things than my gold-plated Ferrari or set of elephant-ivory caviar dishes. All I do is take and take and take and never give. Well, except for that bonus. That I gave to myself. I'm really nothing but a child who wants all the toys under the Christmas tree for himself. Everything I take is literally stealing something from someone else's mouth."
I don't expect this enlightenment to come any time soon. But until it does. I would suggest that we not prevent executives from taking their bonuses. All that I ask is that they adopt as their professional motto something my dad once said about such behavior--that it exemplified the attitude, "Hooray for me and f#@k you."
Make their wear this as a pin on their lapels. Make them put it on their license plates of their ridiculous cars. Paint it nice and big, visible from a thousand feet, on the sides of their corporate jets.
And anytime they speak in public--in a board meeting, on television or even for a lowly newspaper, make them end every session with "And let us all remember, Hooray for me and f#@k you."
It'll go a helluva lot farther than the insipid "Thank you and God Bless the United States." And it will be the first step toward enlightenment: honesty.