There's little enough to laugh about these days, so let's tell a few jokes. Keep 'em clean, and apolitical if possible, and try to tell jokes that may be unique to your family or region. I've been telling some of these jokes for years, and every time I tell them they get laughs- from me. Here's a few (I got a million of 'em):
An Englishman working for Cunard Shipping decided to vacation in America. He had his Rolls Royce shipped over and was on a driving tour of New England.
He stopped at a garage in Maine to top off his oil, and the Mainer who served him said:
"You must have a real good job to have a cah like this."
"Oh, yes, dear boy, I work for Cunard."
"Well, I work f*ckin hahd too, and I can't afford a Rolls Royce."
Two academic types were having a discussion about the mysterious disappearance of a colleague.
Prof 1: "What a tragedy about Professor Smith's disappearance- he was a brilliant thinker, always thinking."
Prof 2: "Yes, the last time I saw him he was swimming in the lake, and he suddenly called out, 'I'm thinking, I'm thinking!'"
Prof 1: "YOU FOOL! Professor Smith spoke with a lisp!"
An old lady lived alone with her clever parrot. One day she went out shopping, leaving the parrot alone. A delivery man came to the house and knocked on the door.
Parrot: "Who is it?"
"It's the butcher."
Parrot: "Who is it?"
"It's the butcher!"
"Who is it?"
"IT'S THE BUTCHER!!"
"Who is it?"
Whereupon the frustrated butcher fell dead on the doorstep.
The old lady came home and discovered a strange dead man on her doorstep.
"Oh, my God, who is it?"
Parrot: "It's the butcher!"