WASHINGTON - Shortly after appearing on Meet the Press this morning to announce yet another Presidental run, Ralph Nader held a press conference in front of the local Piggly Wiggly to announce that he will be starting his own political party, not affiliated with any existing party infrastructure in America.
The Party of Ralph Nader (PORN) will immediately begin hardening support in all 50 states in preparation for his Presidential run.
Nader Spokesman Jim Kirkpatrick had this to say during the Q and A portion of the press conference:
"While we've run on the Green Party ticket in the past, our feeling is that erecting a new party infrastructure will give us a more solid base from which to run. By presenting Americans with a bigger package, we believe that we can get our message to more voters."
Longtime Nader Press Secretary Jill Hefflefinger added:
"By establishing our own party, it gives us a prophylactic to use against the charge that we use whatever party will take us, only using them to seed our candidate in any given state.
This is expected to give Nader a significant amount of traction among young male voters, who may misconstrue the purpose of the party. While PORN may be the acronym for the party, supporters insist that the goals are more virginal than that.
"The acronym PORN will give us a hook," Hefflefinger stated, "allowing us to drum up press coverage and inject ourselves into the political sphere. We are in no way advocating for XXX-rated content to make its way into the political discourse."
The candidate himself was less circumspect about the reasons for naming the party.
"Heh. I just want to see 'Ralph Nader - Candidate(PORN) on TV," he stated.
DNC Chairman Howard Dean called the move "ludicrous."
"You don't see us demanding that Barack Obama change his last name to 'Democratic' before we'll let him head the ticket, do you? This man has more ego than Mitt Romney. And that's telling you something!"
John McCain was more circumspect.
"I was thinking about asking the RNC to change the party name to 'Viagra' to force my chances up in November."
Asked to comment at a press conference today, White House Spokesperson Dana Perino politely demurred.
Tim Russert, however, was overheard backstage at MTP saying something to the effect of What the fuck?