Regarding the recent boom in strike talks at dKos, I'm appalled at the impish level of discourse by once-respected writers. Specifically, I'm disappointed in Bill in Portland Maine's flippant use of the word 'boycott' to describe some sort of snarky retort to the strikers. By throwing around that word, Bill is plucking the sexist strings that tether the bigoted masses to their ignorance, and this is obviously a vicious attack on both Democratic candidates (and mermaids). From my pedestal hovering over these 'labor' disputes, I am calling for a girlcott of all of Bill's future diaries.
By calling for a boycott, Bill is no doubt picking at the scab of resentment that is slowly healing the wounds of misogyny among closet bigots. First, it is an attack on Sen. Clinton. By using the word 'boycott', Bill is excluding all of Hillary's supporters because Sen. Clinton is not, and has never been, a boy. It is my opinion that Sen. Clinton can not be blamed for never having been a boy, as it's not a choice she made (that I'm aware of). These kinds of base attacks are tearing this party apart, and I will not stand for it. I'm calling for all Hillfans to join me in my girlcott and smite out BiPM's rampant sexism.
But Bill is not only attacking the Hilk. He is also drainage drilling from the Obama campaign's mojo reserve by laying claiming to the idea of boycotting for political gain. Should Obama choose to boycott in the future, he will have been bamboozled and hoodwinked, and his efforts will have been thwarted by Bill's unnecessary and unilateral boycott -- Bill will have drunk his milkshake. So I ask friends of Sen. Obama to stand in solitary girlcott with me against the serpentine acts of our former friend from the Pine Tree State.
Finally, Bill's call is an afront to mermaids, who have neither plug nor socket and cannot technically participate in a boycott, or a girlcott for that matter. For these fine Amermaidicans I suggest a cotttail, complete with an after-hours cotttail party and plenty of room on my cotttails as I take Bill's former minions by storm. Let us end Bill's abusive behavior my scaley schoolmates. (You do swim in schools, right?)
I once enjoyed Bill's 'humorous' take on current events, but now I've come to see him for what he really is. He's a monster, and he wouldn't even be here if he was from California or New York or some other state. He's very lucky to be from Portland Maine. The only way to fight the beast is to join as one, in girlcott, against this menace to Democracy and the netroots movement.
Go in peace.
UPDATE: I've received e-mails from robots, who feel slighted and are forming a botcott, and mermaids, who have decided that a girlcott will actually do just fine. (Apparently mermaids do have their female bits in order.) So I was wrong about the mermaids, but damnit Bill, think about the robots before you post trash like that again.