(With apologies to pontificator):
America's middle class is done, and the speed of its collapse is nothing short of stunning. A breaking news story now says that the middle class, which has been living on home equity generated by overinflated valuations and 44.9% credi cards, will announce either a sale to America's shadowy corporate overlords or collectively file bankruptcy before the markets open in Asia on Monday. In a frightening sign of economic instability, analysts worry that the failure of enough middle-class Americans to pawn their refrigerators; sell their blood, sperm or eggs; or begin selling their infants to upper-class foodies a la Jonathan Swift could lead to a "financial crisis" for the nation's upper 1 percent of earners:
America's middle class was closing in on a deal Sunday afternoon to sell itself to Halliburton, Exxon-Mobil, or other members of the nation's newest robber-baron class as worries deepened that the financial crisis of confidence could spread if families earning $50,000 or less failed to find corporate buyers -- or were unable to deliver able-bodied children to work on the nation's few remaining assembly lines by Monday morning.
People familiar with the discussions said all sides were pushing hard to complete an agreement before financial markets in Asia open for Monday trading. "None of these things is done until they're done," Treasury Department spokeswoman Michele Davis said Sunday afternoon. "But I think everyone's expectation is sometime in the early evening hopefully" the deal will be done, and middle-class Americans will collectively become the property of one or another company listed on the Fortune 50.
. . . .
Federal regulators also are trying to prevent the crisis of the nation's middle class from mushrooming into a systemic threat to the stability of the upper class, for which confidence is essential to their ongoing operations. Dismantling the middle class completely would be a nightmare because its need for heating oil, gasoline, food and inexpensive clothes from big-box retailers serves as the backbone of the economy.
. . . .
The middle class has been collectively preparing for the possibility of a nationwide bankruptcy filing, with that as the likeliest scenario if an acquisition by a Fortune 50 company falls apart, according to persons familiar with the situation. Such filings might even occur before financial markets in Asia open for Monday trading.
Analyst say the homes a large percentage of the middle class now live in homes that are valued at less than what is owed on said homes, making it increasily likely that these families will see most of their value wiped out. Their children's futures look increasingly bleak.