Hillary Clinton has now been deemed commissioner of Major League Baseball and the National Football League. As a result, there have been a few changes in recent sports history that this Seattle fan is excited to bring you.
First, the Seattle Mariners have been retroactively deemed to be the 2007 American League West Champions. Sure, they finished 6 games behind the Angels, but if you look at some Spring Training games, you can find 7 games that the M's won and 7 games that the Angels lost. Add them to the mix and Seattle has a one game lead.
Yes, the managers didn't know the games were going to count and used the time to play minor leaguers instead of doing everything they could to win the contest, but why should that matter? They should have known that contests could be decreed to count after the fact.
In other good news, the Seahawks have been awarded the Super Bowl XL title. It turns out that even numbered quarters are unimportant. The Seahawks won the quarters that count 10-7.
Congratulations to our new champions. I intend to enjoy the moment until Clinton remembers that Seattle is the home of many latte drinking, Birkenstock wearing, Prius drivers from a state that doesn't count anyway.