Forgive any Diary no-nos, i've never done this.
I was wondering a few days ago, as i tried to escape the horror of changing my toddler's diaper, why is this democratic primary going on and on? God please make it stop! And then it dawned on me, that not only do the people who are voting for senator Clinton at this point not only believe that she can't win this thing, they don't care!
Some of these people, are now famously referred to by the media as "victims" , and since NH, HRC has turned this refreshing term into a warm blanket (provided by Sen. Clinton) that these 'victims' can wrap themselves in, and feel warm and protected from all those misogynists and same-sex haters who just don't understand.
Usually women, who feel this way are voting for her in protest for the way that they feel THEY have been treated in their own lives, and in truth i think it has little to do with HRC connecting with them in any way.
Now i'm not saying that all women are voting for her because of feeling pushed down and denied of equal opportunity, that would be silly. I am saying that despite the feeling (and some polls) that Obama would be a better candidate against McCain, and had a better chance of winning in November, these democrats are defiant. And it got me thinking, how coul we show Sen. Clinton that we support her candidacy without voting for her? And we afraid to not vote for her because we're afraid of being called misogynists, of not understand as women what other women feel, or worse, being treated like Bill Richardson!
So we don't want Sen. Clinton to feel like we have when we've been rejected, so we vote for her. Let me tell you an interesting story, i thought, of the interesting way women think:
I was at the dentists office (a half hour vacation, away from the screaming babies)- and the phone rang. The receptionist answered, and the conversation from her end went like this:
No. Oh no, I'm sorry to hear that. It's okay. What? No you don't have to come in if your baby is sick. No, it's no inconvenience at all. She might be contagious too, so it's a good idea for you to stay home. No, it's no problem at all. You can always reschedule.
This woman's baby had a high fever, with some kind of illness, yet this woman is calling, almost apologizing that the baby is sick, and asking if she should come in anyway - because if it's an inconvenience for the DENTIST, she will come in, sick baby and all!
My point is, women seem to to go to great lengths to avoid hurting each other's feelings, even though the way they go about doing it sometimes is a little weird to those, especially men, who are not taught to go around pleasing everybody. And i think this is the dilemna of many women who are voting for Sen. Clinton. This was reiterated in a piece about Chris Matthews in the NYT, where an old woman met him at the airport, told him she voted for Sen. Clinton but hopes she doesn't win!
I believe we want to make a statement to the media mostly, objecting to what Sen. Clinton (or so she says) and many women sees as blatant sexism, yet we realise that Sen. Clinton is far from the picture of the life of a typical women who has had to settle to being discriminated against because of her sex. As they now know, she is a multi millionaire, as they know, she demonized publicly and privately women who complained of her husband's unwanted sexual advances. ah, no marriage is perfect, but i digress. Lord knows, she had the power, the education and the money to change her circumstances whenever she wanted to. She did not have to stay with her husband. And Sen. Clinton is one bad ass, kick your ass kinda woman - so much so that no one has trouble envisioning her as Commander in Chief. So why now, would she play the victim? She's doing it because she is a kick ass kinda woman, not because she is a victim, but because she wants you to feel like a victim because she wants your vote.
So HRC has found a way to connect with voters, except it has nothing to do with policy, and about what she can or will do for us. I believe HRC could have forged a connection with all women, even those who would not support her on policy, on sisterhood and empowerment, not one of victimhood. Women have to understand that this faux connection is just that not real. Why vote to to put yourselves into a category of the victim? We are survivors, like Sen. Clinton, and she will understand this is not personal like she said - it's just politics. We have to find other ways to support women who have real obstacles in their life, and view our political heroes through wider lens (Benazir Bhutto, with all her imperfections- now talk anout real sexism, but she never played the victim, there was no time, and it took too much energy and no one respects it).
I say we can support Sen.Clinton by throwing off that cloak of victimhood and vote from a position of feeling powerful. It was a long road to get the right to vote, and it's powerful position to be in. For all those of us who have to change 30 thousand diapers, who burn the food when we try to make a romantic dinner, who can't boil eggs, who don't have healthcare, who cry when we have to ask our husbands for 10 dollars at the end of the month, who want to start their own business but their child needs braces, who choose to buy text books for their kids over new shoes for ourselves, we are NOT victims, we're survivors. And i wish Sen. Clinton would stop using my womaness against me, stop insulting my life experience, my dignity and my intelligence.