I assume many of my fellow progressives are a lot like myself, we at times use humor to ease the pain of the Bush presidency. So in light of Bush's recent meeting (unsuccessful) with King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia where one of the goals was to "jawbone" them to increase oil production, I am going to attempt a little humor. Below the orange fold is a partial transcript of wiretap I got my hands on of the actual conversation between Bush and King Abdullah.
We join the conversation in progress .....
Bush: I told you to invest in United Technologies didn't I?
King Abdullah: Oh I have made $200 million on that one.
Bush: War is profitable isn't it?
King Abdullah: Tell me something I don't know. I mean it was kind of my idea :).
King Abdullah: Hey did you get my email about buying Citi Bank?
Bush: Oh yeah, passed it off to my Secretary of money and stuff. He is all over it.
King Abdullah: Rad. One of my fifty sons, I don't recall which one, is getting married and I'd like to give Citi to him as a wedding gift.
King Abdullah: So what did you give Jenna for her wedding?
Bush: I kept her out of jail.
King Abdullah: Right, right you used to have laws in your nation.
Bush: So how long do we have to act like we're talking about the oil crisis thingy?
King Abdullah: Oh at least an hour, have another Cuban cigar.
King Abdullah: So what are you going to tell the press this time around?
Bush: Oh you'll love this. I am going to tell them I was forceful, direct, the "Decider." But you wouldn't agree to much of a production increase in those "oil machine thingies" you got cause you're not the cause of $126 a barrel.
King Abdullah: You are not going to blame the Democrats?
Bush: Given.
King Abdullah: Go on, give me a second I can't stop laughing.
Bush: Then I am going to issue a statement, oh and you will love this even more, saying as Americans we have to find a way to move to alternative energy sources, but also start drilling in the, oh I forgot the name, that big state with the white bears.
King Abdullah: Americans are dumb. They're going to buy drilling in Alaska?
Bush: Yeah that is the state, Alaska.
King Abdullah: Hey, doesn't a few of your former campaign "Rangers" own the company that is going to get drilling rights in ANWR?
Bush: Yeah, you want in on the deal?
King Abdullah: What do you think?
Bush: Done. I've have Cheney give you a call.
King Abdullah: How is Cheney, I haven't spoken to him for a while. Has he shot anybody else in the face lately?
Bush: No, LOL.
King Abdullah: I still can't believe you won that bet George. Who would have ever thought Cheney would shot a friend in the face for an Arabian Horse.
Bush: You don't know "Dick."
Bush: Well that should be long enough to look like I tried to "jawbone" yea.
Bush: When you coming by the ranch?
King Abdullah: Soon, soon but I have to tend to a couple of my wives and buy up some more of America first.
Bush: Oh I hear that. But be quick about it, you know buying up America with our oil dollars and all. I only have a few more months in office.
King Abdullah: You haven't rigged the elections again?
Bush: We've got that covered, but you just never know. That old guy might lose by like 10 million votes. Not sure if we can "fix" that if you know that I mean.
King Abdullah: Well actually I don't, I am The King. Literally The King. But anyway, let us know if you need any help with that, you know rigging the election, not helping to lower gas prices.
Bush & King Abdullah: ROTFL....