SCHENECTADY, NY, 1/21/09 (AP)---Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton vowed to take her fight for the presidency to the floor of the United States Senate today, refusing to give up on her quixotic quest for the office even after President Barack Obama handed her a decisive defeat at the Democratic Convention and followed up with a trouncing of Senator John McCain in the general election, and even in the wake of yesterday's inauguration of President Obama.
"I'm certain I have more General Election legitimate votes in Flordia and Michigan than Pres, um, Senator Obama," Senator Clinton told a handful of poli sci students from SUNY Binghamton this morning. "I also delivered the Ohio Valley in a far better way than it's already been delivered to the Democratic column."
A bemused Senator John McCain, whose difficulties with incontinence hindered him in three debates with President Obama and may have cost him dearly in November, urged Senator Clinton to continue her quest.
"She may be a billion dollars in campaign debt, but that just shows what a fighter she is," McCain commented before heading into a nearby restroom. "She really represents what this nation is all about: deficit spending and advanced dementia!"
Vice President Patricia Murray, presiding over the chamber Senator Clinton is a member of, said that Clinton's appeal to the Senate was not likely to be honored, but would be heard.
"When Senator Clinton told mainstream media executives in early November to 'do whatever it takes to invalidate the results of the General Election for both candidates,' it didn't wash well with her own party," Vice President Murray said. "As Democrats, we're generally for fairness. But we'll hear the Senator's challenge to invalidate the 71 million votes for President Obama as well as the 22 million for Senator McCain in good faith."