Voter 1: Uncle Omen; will you read us a bedtime story please? Pretty Please?
Me: I'm not sure if this is the right venue for a bedtime story...
Voter 2: Ah, c'mon! Please?
Me: OK; just remember that this is a story. As in "fictional."
Both Together: We will!
Me: You all tucked in?
Both Together: Yeah!
Me: Heeeeeere we go...
Once upon a time not far from now,
When people were upset, confused and sour,
When laws were ignored and justice waned
And Republicans were acting bat-shit insane;
There lived a strong Democrat who was misguided
By her greedy-ass advisors, this is what they cited:
"You and us, ma'am are going win primaries
by making other candidates look real scary."
Their plan: Super Tuesday Melodrama
But then Iowa went to a guy named Obama
He won another and another, as well as "sistas" and "brothas"
Then ran into trouble due emails 'bout his mother
A tale about madrassas made the pundits erratic
Liberal blogs simply replied, "There's no need to panic."
But they still freaked, and the Right began to smear
From reverends to Muslims to "He has big ears,"
Meanwhile his opponent's like "Don't ignore me,
This isn't 2000 and you won't Al Gore me!"
Then David got Shustered and Randi was Rhoded,
Advisors fell off/"Her Campaign's Imploded!!"
So thus began Operation Kitchen Sink
In hopes on dashing Hope before Texas could blink
After Pennsylvania she thought she trounced him
She brought up Wright again? Hadn't Barack denounced him?
Just when questions faded on a "racist agenda"
It was brought up again, now in West Virginia
So "blue collar whites" were the factor now
All of our Joe Sixpacks couldn't be more proud.
She locked the old vote (actually old white women)
And dashed any thoughts that this race was ending
Still she needed cash and way more support
So guess which group she decided to court?
Rush: the jerk who thinks women are skirts
And his FoxNews cohorts who say blacks don't work
They said: "Obama's too scary and dark to win,
If they don't choose Clinton they'll loose again!"
She went back to winning (finding yet another voice)
Declaring that, "Finally, America's made their choice!"
Talked up Michigan/visited Florida,
Blasted the media for ignoring her
Tried to equate feminism to being democratic
Short on logic and running out of tactics
Her campaign cooks up crazy mathematics
Long-time friends sigh, "This is very tragic"
Sticking to her guns like Dr Kimble on the run
She shouts "Vote for me or the Party is done!"
But deep in her heart she knew she was wrong
Rumors leaked out: "She wants to change her song!"
Deals were made, pundits were flabergasted
Hannity shat his pants (ego-centric bastard)
She came to terms, there was mass elation
And that's why we now have a unified nation
(She was) a political queen caught up in a dream
Her hubby had to say "Just take one for the team..."
This ain't funny so please don't ya snark,
Just another case of abstract bench marks
When you're politickin'? Stay true to your heart.
Good Nite!
Inspired by the Ruler: