On this day honoring our war veterans, John McCain restated his opposition to providing vets with generous education benefits. If a veteran gets a free ride at, say, Dartmouth, where tuition is near $40k and whose president actively recruits service men and women, that vet won’t re-enlist. Your average veteran, McCain argues, would choose an idyllic campus set in pristine New Hampshire woodland over getting shot at and blown up in the toxic dust cloud of Iraq. This is the kind of good sense we’ve come to expect from the straight talker. Indeed his unimpeachable logic applies to a broad range of social programs long overdue for reform.
Public schools provide free education for all youngsters. This has emptied the work houses of child labor, stripped the fields of able-bodied youths, and deprived assembly lines of nimble-fingered tots. As a result, we’ve had to either import all that controversial south of the border labor or outsource our child labor to China. The McCain solution: close public schools and put those kids back to work where they belong. Anyone who can afford to buy a private education can opt out of the system, thus supplying the next generation of Republicans. The program would be modeled on our current volunteer army, where those rich enough to avoid being blown up in Iraq can do so if they choose.
The nation has a shortage of nurses and police officers. These dangerous and difficult jobs are of course essential for our collective well-being, so the shortage is a serious matter. The culprit? Pensions. Overly generous pension benefits cause police and nurses to retire. McCain’s solution is simple. Strip nurses and police officers of their pensions, thus forcing them to stay on the job. Furthermore, McCain points to the virtuous circle effect: all that money otherwise destined to fund pension programs will instead line the pockets of hospital executives and Republican municipal politicians and eventually find its way into the coffers of the GOP.
Public transit is another source of waste and inefficiency. Buses and trains cut into automobile sales and oil company profits while providing no benefits at all to those who can afford their own cars. Eliminate public transit therefore, says John McCain. Those who can’t afford to buy a car can walk, which will be good for their health.
And these are just a few examples of the forward thinking reforms we can expect in a McCain presidency. What with public housing, medicare, social security, Head Start, the public university system, etc., President McCain will have ample scope to reshape our world for the betterment of those who will likely vote for him.