I inadvertently attended a Memorial Day ceremony today.
I was at the cemetery for an entirely other, personal reason and found myself caught up in a massive traffic jam: People arriving for the annual Memorial Day ceremony held at this particular southern California location.
"Shall we stay?" I inquired of my companion and we agreed it was something we were probably meant to do. My oldest nephew is with the Special Forces and arrived for an eighteen-month tour in Iraq about two weeks ago. For him and for all who have served, we felt it was a meaningful way to spend the morning.
It was a lovely ceremony—certainly a little heavier on the "God bless America" sentiment than I am usually comfortable with, but willing to accept on this occasion. Yes, I shed several tears—children dressed in red, white and blue singing patriotic songs, a 21-gun salute, a reading of "In Flanders Fields", "Taps" played soulfully by an 84-year old veteran, the releasing of doves and, finally, bagpipes and drums playing "Amazing Grace" all contributed to a nice, non-maudlin tribute. Tears slid past the rims of my sunglasses lenses throughout the ceremony.
As I sat there amongst the patriotically attired attendees, however, I felt a little like...well, it is hard to describe. I have been vocally against the war in Iraq since before it started and even when my nephew informed the family of his decision to try and become a Green Beret, I stood up to my brother (his father) and told him I would "support our troops but never support a war in Iraq", to which he retorted, "That’s bull ---. That is just a cop out – If you support our troops, you have to support the cause for which they’re there." Obviously he and I were (and remain) on opposite sides of this issue.
Here’s the crux: After all the references today about honoring the memory of those who have paid the greatest price for our freedom, am I a hypocrite for thinking I can care about our military personnel and disagree with the cause for which they died? Is it fraudulent to believe I can "support our troops" and still speak out against the war in Iraq and invest my time in helping to elect officials who will bring about the end of the conflict there? When they say "freedom isn’t free", I usually cringe and move on. Today, however, I really thought about those words and acknowledged the truth behind the cliché. Since the Revolutionary War, men and women have died for an ideal. It is that ideal that gives us all the right to speak out on any and all issues relating to citizenship in this country, including opposition to an ill-conceived (to say the least) war.
So, though I cannot expect my brother and his wife to understand, I am very proud of their son and will worry every single day until he is out of harm’s way...and I will continue in my belief that the war, this war is wrong. It was my nephew’s choice to serve and my love for him is unwavering. That does not change the fact that we are losing good people nearly every day in a war that was started for nothing much more than the vanity of an embarrassment of a presidential administration.
Ultimately I have come to understand there is no hypocrisy in crying at a Memorial Day ceremony one day and speaking out against the war the next.