So I'm innocently perusing the daily headlines when I come across this article on CNN.
Monkeys Control Robots With Their Minds
So it occurs to me, while Michelle Malkin is worrying about whether Rachael Ray is some sort of muslim manchurian chef, it's quite likely there is, as we speak, an army of robot controlling monkeys about to seize power.
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The first question I had is, who thought this was a good idea? I mean, wouldn't rats or some less intelligent creature controlling robots be a better means of research? Have they not seen Planet of the Apes?
In the experiment, a pair of macaque monkeys were fitted with electrodes the width of a human hair that transmitted signals from areas of the brain linked to movements.
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The signals directed the arms to grasp marshmallows and fruit and place it into their mouths in "one natural-looking motion," the Nature article said.
With their real arms restrained, the monkeys learned how to control the arms in a matter of days, negotiating obstacles and tilting their heads and moving their eyes without affecting the robotic limbs.
What is most disturbing is that it only took days for the monkeys to be trained. How long before the armies come?
"The more we understand about the brain, the better we'll be able to treat a wide range of brain disorders, everything from Parkinson's disease and paralysis to, eventually Alzheimer's disease and perhaps mental illness."
Sure. And in the meantime, Halliburton is salivating, thinking of ways to strap electtrodes to monkeys and send them outside the green zone. How many times do we have to say it: animals controlling robots is the basis for a majority of science fiction horror stories.
What will you do when the metal ones come for you?
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