From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...
McCain Embraces Another Radical Extremist
I'm beginning to doubt the straight-talker's integrity. First he seeks the endorsement of radical warmonger and Catholic/Muslim/Gay-hater Pastor John Hagee. Now I've learned that he's in bed with a convicted felon who promotes violence against the United States government.
The Chicago Tribune's Steve Chapman explains:
Now a conservative radio talk-show host, [G. Gordon] Liddy spent more than 4 years in prison for his role in the 1972 Watergate burglary. That was just one element of what Liddy did, and proposed to do, in a secret White House effort to subvert the Constitution. Far from repudiating him, McCain has embraced him. ... "It's always a pleasure for me to come on your program, Gordon, and congratulations on your continued success and adherence to the principles and philosophies that keep our nation great."
Liddy was in the thick of the biggest political scandal in American history---and one of the greatest threats to the rule of law. He has said he has no regrets about what he did, insisting that he went to jail as "a prisoner of war." ...
In 1994, after the disastrous federal raid on the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas, he gave some advice to his listeners: "Now if the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms comes to disarm you and they are bearing arms, resist them with arms. Go for a head shot; they're going to be wearing bulletproof vests. . . . Kill the sons of bitches."
He later backed off, saying he meant merely that people should defend themselves if federal agents came with guns blazing. But his amended guidance was not exactly conciliatory: Liddy also said he should have recommended shots to the groin instead of the head. If that wasn't enough to inflame any nut cases, he mentioned labeling targets "Bill" and "Hillary" when he practiced shooting.
Chapman says the straight-talkin' McCain campaign refused to "acknowledge" or "answer" repeated attempts to get info about the maverick's rosy relationship with the radical, unrepentant Liddy. Then again, it's only the "G-Man." In conservative circles and D.C. cocktail parties, he's just a big cuddly shoot-first-ask-questions-later Teddy bear. Perfectly pleasant gentleman. Pay no attention to the delusions of grandeur.
We now return you to our regularly scheduled Obama bashing.
Cheers and Jeers starts in There's Moreville... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, May 5, 2008
Note: Y'know, it occurs to me that... No, wait. It doesn't.
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the North Carolina and Indiana primaries: 1
Days 'til Memorial Day: 21
Number of new nurses that will be needed by 2016: 500,000
Current median salary for a registered nurse: $57,280
(Source: Parade)
Number of pubs outside of Dublin, Ireland that have closed in the past 3 years: 1,000
(Source: The Washington Post via The Week)
Estimated value of mortgages on which U.S. borrowers will default this year: $316,000,000
...Wait, we're not done yet:
,000
(Source: Harper's Index)
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Your Monday Texan As A Second Language Lesson
Brought to you by the 2008 Netroots Nation Convention in Austin July 17-20:
"Always take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important to know what it is, but it's critical to know what it was."
(Translation: The USDA sucks.)
"The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket."
(Translation: The Bush economy sucks.)
Say each phrase three times out loud before you go to bed and you'll be fluent in Texan in no time!
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Puppy Pic of the Day: So near, yet so far.
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CHEERS to the Little Island That Could. The people of Guam busted the Democratic primary season wide open Saturday like a machete slicing through a coconut. The caucus results are now final. Here's the tally:
Obama got 37 votes in Ordot, 19 in Maina, 151 in Inarajan, 46 in Asan, 55 in Chalan Pago, 87 in Santa Rita, 102 in Mongmong-Toto-Maite, 28 in Hagåtña, 158 in Barrigada, 36 in Merizo, 49 in Piti, 131 in Sinajana, 108 in Agana Heights, 194 in Mangilao 192 in Tamuning, 27 in Umatac, 76 in Talofofo, 224 in Yigo, 104 in Yona, 127 in Agat and 313 in Dededo for a total of 2,264 votes. Sen. Hillary Clinton took 18 votes in Ordot, 22 in Maina, 87 in Inarajan, 33 in Asan, 87 in Chalan Pago, 73 in Santa Rita, 81 in Mongmong-Toto-Maite, 29 votes in Hagåtña, 166 in Barrigada, 33 in Merizo, 51 in Piti, 89 in Sinajana, 105 in Agana Heights, 155 in Mangilao, 193 in Tamuning, 24 in Umatac, 52 in Talofofo, 211 in Yigo, 98 in Yona, 141 in Agat and 509 in Dededo for a total of 2,257 votes.
If you matched those numbers perfectly, you win! Please drop by the C&J teller window for your free "Jennry" marriage plate. (They're worth a cool 75 cents on eBay.)
CHEERS to Unnnnnderdog! Don Cazayoux won a squeaker of a victory Saturday in Louisiana's 6th Congressional District. The win is significant in three ways: 1) He becomes yet another Democrat to win in a Republican stronghold (the GOP held the seat for the last 34 years). 2) The Republicans now have fewer than 200 seats in the House. And 3) There's finally, finally representation in Congress for American citizens who have an X, a Y and a Z in their name. Walter Xyzazyx and Ginny Yaxxixz: your earmarks are on the way!
JEERS to telling the truth...and then taking it back. Last week John McCain---working without a safety Joe Lieberman under him---said something revealing and stupid about why our troops have been dying in the Middle East:
"My friends, I will have an energy policy that we will be talking about, which will eliminate our dependence on oil from the Middle East that will... That will then prevent us... That will prevent us from having ever to send our young men and women into conflict again in the Middle East."
But at least his response was coherent...if by coherent you mean Grandpa's hit the sauce again-ish:
"No, I was thinking about... It’s not hard to... We will not... By eliminating our dependency on foreign oil, we will not have to have our national security threatened by a cutoff of that oil. Because we will be dependent... Because we won’t be dependent... We will no longer be dependent on foreign oil. That’s what my remarks were."
Uhh...okay. My point here is: all those who think a Republican will ever eliminate our dependence on foreign oil, please have your undertaker raise your hand.
CHEERS to mint juleps. Before and during the Kentucky Derby they were concoctions lifted high to toast an annual spring tradition. Afterward they became a drowner of sorrows after filly Eight Belles had to be put to death when she broke both front ankles. This morning C&J heaps a trough-full of scorn on horse's ass Matt Drudge for his horseshit headline: "Clinton-picked horse dies at Derby!" Classy.
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Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda... GONG!!!
This is another edition of The One Word Answer Man. Digby links to a fun little MoveOn.org quiz as she asks: Can you tell the difference between McCain and Bush?
No.
Now back to Cheers and Jeers.
Gong! Gong!! BuddaBuddaBudda... GONG!!!
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CHEERS to the fifth of mayonnaise. Today is Cinco De Mayo, the one day a year when we can legally re-enact the Battle of Puebla. At the C&J household we'll be following our usual custom of planting a Mexican flag in the yard and taking our neighbors prisoner. Then, after beating the Archduke Maximilian piñata senseless...tacos!
JEERS to C-students at the helm. The headline kinda says it all: Bush administration's reading program hasn't helped. Why, you ask? Well, the answer's kinda complicated---demographics, psychographics, family structure, faculty support, test uniformity, incidence of truancy and other complex matrices are all factors. So I'll just sum up the failure in words everyone can understand: It's a Bush administration reading program.
P.S. Mr. Bush promised over the weekend that the stimulus checks currently being mailed out "will help American families increase their purchasing power and help offset the high prices that we're seeing at the gas pump and the grocery store." Meanwhile Beijing, whose money is fueling the stimulus package, said American interest payments would "help Chinese families increase their purchasing power and help offset the high prices that we're seeing at the gas pump and the grocery store." Yay! Everybody wins!
CHEERS to dissension in the ranks. Big dustup (read: itty bitty dustup) here in Maine over the weekend. The Republicans had their state convention Saturday, and Ron Paul supporters were real pains in the asses, "holding his campaign signs aloft, chanting his name and winning time during a convention recess for a video presentation touting their favorite." Meanwhile one of Maine's 18 national delegates will be a Paul supporter. You'll recognize him during the RNC convention---he'll be the one taking the other seventeen's drink orders.
CHEERS to connecting the docs. The American Medical Association was formed 161 years ago today. Medical professionals from 22 states and 28 medical schools attended to hear such topics as: "How to Smoke a Stogie Properly Over an Open Wound", "Why Drugs Will Never Replace A Good Sharp Saw Blade", and Ether: Your After-hours Friend. On their first day they unanimously approved the association's motto which is still in place today: "You really should get that thing checked."
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One Year Ago in C&J---May 5, 2007: Reaction to the first Republican candidates debate:
JEERS to the stupidest guy in the room. Jim VandeHei from Politico.com pulled this question off the net, ran it through the finely-tuned screening software between his ears, and then engaged his vocal chords in a guilt-free display of wankery: "What do you dislike most about America?" Um, let's see...how about pundits who ask questions like "What do you dislike most about America?" (But, for the record, I agree with Tancredo's answer: nuns.)
JEERS to wingnuttery as usual. Last night Mitt Romney said the will of the people is irrelevant on Iraq and that perjury isn’t a crime. Tommy Thompson said that it's okay to fire someone because they're gay. Sam Brownback's hero is Joe Lieberman. John McCain says the occupation of Iraq is going just dandy. Three of the 10 candidates say evolution is bullshit. Nine out of ten say they'd mow down a thousand people with their SUVs to save one embryo. And Rudy Giuliani claims we have the best health care system in the world, which is true if by "best" you mean 37th place. Gee...how can they lose?
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And just one more...
JEERS to the last thing that should ever be on an animal's mind (via Kossack Vicki). I know what you're saying: "Hey Bill, what is the last thing that should ever be on an animal's mind?" Well, as fair as I kin tell, it's something like, "Gee, I wonder if this plastic child's toy I just ate is going to fuck my digestive system up so bad that I'll end up dying from it":
"The untimely death of this healthy adult alligator was needless and due to someone's carelessness," Refuge Manager Anne Morkill said. "Every year, we wait for the return of this alligator from its winter wanderings. Now our refuge volunteers, who spend countless hours at the Blue Hole educating the public about wildlife, will miss observing this spectacular creature."
Even worse, the late gator's name was "Bacardi." Put...that child...in irons.
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Oh, and maybe I'm just paranoid, but I think Senator Olympia Snowe just targeted our house for an egging. Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"Bill in Portland Maine is not a flibbertijibbet."
---Elizabeth Taylor
5/2/08
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