In a potentially ground breaking legal action, McDonald's, Inc. has filed a lawsuit against the Republican Party and its candidate for President, John McCain, for copyright infringement. A copy of the filing obtained by this reporter reveals that the company believes it faces "irreparable harm" if the McCain campaign is allowed to continue using the trademark "Mc" prefix as its "brand." The lawsuit asks for an immediate "Cease and Desist" order, calling for the Republican Party to rebrand its Presidential candidate as simply "Cain," and an undisclosed financial penalty believed to be in the eight figures.
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"McDonald's has worked hard for decades to secure the integrity, name recognition, and qualitative association of its trade name," the court filing asserts. "Five months of the ineptitude, incompetence, and mendaciousness of the "McCain" campaign and its Republican Party surrogates will dilute and denigrate the hard-won recognition the McDonald's company enjoys the world over."
McDonald's Corporation, well known for its massive chain of fast food emporia, is also well known for suing individuals attempting to capitalize on the pop-cultural trend of adding a "Mc" prefix to a word to denote its mass cultural appeal. Recent trends in upsizing subdivision housing, for example, have been labeled "McMansion developments."
It is not known if the battered GOP, burdened by an eight-year clinch with the most unpopular President in U.S. history, decided to nominate Arizona Senator John McCain solely because his name might draw votes on a crossover appeal to one of the world's most patronized eateries, but few other explanations make sense.
An unscientific survey on this question at a nearby McDonald's establishment yielded unclear results. One young man, on his way to work swing shift after six hours in class at the state college, told us that "quick and crappy food is fine when you've got no money and no time, but hey, dude, the President should be first class all the way. I ain't votin for no dried up old McCain."
Another patron, however, claiming to be excited about the upcoming November election, said that "I've collected all the McDonald's paraphernalia ever made, and if that old guy wins I'll be able to sell it for millions! I'm voting for him, you bet: that's what the GOP is all about! Getting me rich!"
Repeated attempts to elicit a response from the McCain campaign were met with expletives, and, citing legal considerations, McDonald's Corporation also declined comment.