John McCain has been mocking Obama's campaign for saying that McCain will be Bush's third term. Yet McCain can't explain anything that will change with him. He's supported Bush on practically all policy issues and most importantly supports Bush's unpopular stance on the Iraq war.
So what's a straight talker to do?
Being the nice guy that I am, I've come up with a speech for him:
"Some people say that if elected President I would be Bush's third term...nothing could be farther from the truth. Although I agree with President Bush on 99% of the issues, and have done so in the past, my presidency will be quite different. So different that I can't even explain it. I mean the differences will be so mind-boggling that even MacGyver couldn't figure them out. Differences so different that even Matlock couldn't track them down...Differences so awesome that they would freak the Golden Girls out...
"So, my friends, even though I'm 99% behind Bush, I will stand in front of him with my new adminstration which, while not changing Bush's policies, will be quite different, in a sense, which cannot quite be pinned down. The pundits may scoff, but what do the pundits know? David Brooks thinks that Appleby's has a salad bar. I bet he doesn't even know about their early bird special!
"My friends, this is the straight talk that you have come to expect from me. Physicists say that a straight line, extending into space, will eventually come back to its original point. My change is like that...it eventually ends up right where it started off. So for the future of the past, I ask you to vote for a McCain presidency. A presidency so different from Bush's presidency that all my detractors on the interwebs will be silenced.