Inspired by Kanuk's comment to part 1 of this diary (making yourself a human Guinea pig), I realized that there were many other great ways to earn the $2300 needed to max out your contribution to Obama's general campaign. He's opted out of the public financing, of course, so he's going to need everything he can get.
If you need more ideas, check out Part 1. And please, add your own. We're all in this together.
More ways to come up with an extra $2300 to support Obama's candidacy:
I'm not sure how much the appearance fees are for the Maury Povich show. But take your young child (or borrow one from somebody), invite five male friends (one of them being the actual father of the child), and get on Povich for one of his paternity test shows. PLEASE NOTE--it is crucial that you know for CERTAIN the paternity of the child; otherwise, this could backfire. ASIDE--can Povich be more sexist? When are we going to get a show where he says, "Sheila--you are NOT the mother of this child"?
Remember that time you broke the chain and the next day your favorite goldfish, "Goldie Hawn," was floating in that strange, upside-down manner? Unbreak the chain.
Get yourself on "Deal or No Deal." After partaking in a terrorist fist jab with Howie, take the first lowball offer the banker makes. It doesn't matter that the $1 million suitcase is still on the board. This isn't about you.
If you live in a five cent deposit state, it takes 46,000 aluminum cans to make $2300. Party. A lot. And mix into the conversation things like, "Hey, Steve, what's a matter? Only 18 beers? Wuss." Then collect the cans. If you live in a ten cent state, you can either party half as much (not recommended), or you can split the cans amongst two of you. That's called bundling donations, and it's how the big boys (or girls) play.
Convince President Bush that we need, oh, another $1700 or so in stimulus money. Apiece. (See? Then it really WOULD still be a publically financed campaign.)
YouTube. (Don't worry, they can't figure out how to make any money off it either.)
Isolate the bacteria on your kitchen counter. Train it to excrete crude oil (yes, this can be done). Gather said crude oil into any extra containers you have lying around your kitchen. And then drive it to the refinery. Good luck finding a refinery.
Step 1: Steal underpants (of course, you will come off less like a cute gnome and more like this guy:)
Step 3: profit
You were sponsoring ten Kenyan orphans. But those ungrateful mooches weren't even writing their thank-you letters consistently. Something about a lack of pencils. Ten kids x ten months x $24 a month = more than enough.