In the early morning hours, sipping coffee and mindlessly hearing the noise from the infomercials on the television as I peruse the blogs and news, I had found myself contemplating. It's easy to be reflective, now that the initial shock and emotion of feeling betrayed has died down. To look at things objectively, at least a little, and to formulate a plan on what to do next.
I guess to figure out where you're going, you have to look back at what got you here, or at least that's the way it is for me. Most recently my feelings on the passage of the FISA bill by Congress. Yet this wasn't the start of it, it was the abuse of power by an executive branch and the failure of the system to provide the checks and balances that became blatant after 9/11 and the attempt to carry it through to today.
So as I look to place blame and try to hold those responsible accountable, I look at myself and have to admit, it began with me, it's my fault.
As the Senate postponed the vote on closure for the FISA bill, a bill that we know will end up being approved, but thankfully, not without a fight, unlike in the Congress, we sit here and either rail against those who voted or shows their support for the bill, (and in turn are called purist) or sigh in disgust but say there are bigger battles to fight (and in turn are called apologists). There's one thing we can all agree on, this country is screwed up and needs fixed in a big way. Eight years of no checks and balances, of name calling and an attempt to create a divide in this country has gotten us to where we are today. I will admit, it's my fault. I didn't do enough as a citizen to keep us from where we are at today.
As was pointed out, by DChrissieB, when we cry about the loss of the fourth amendment, it didn't start with this bill, it eroded over time, and we allowed it. No opposition to the Patriot Act, in the name of safety and security and even though I didn't accept it, I didn't do enough to stop it. Oh I ranted and railed to whoever listened, I wrote my congressman and Senator, then I went to work, paid bills, went about my life and shook my head.
It's not just about the fourth amendment that eroded and pissed me off. When the administration was trying to suppress the voice of the people who spoke out against the war, I ranted and railed to anyone who listened, wrote my congressman and Senator and even the White House. I raged "how dare you call me unpatriotic, I gave eight years of my life in the name of patriotism to protect and defend...blah blah blah..." There were blatant violations against individual rights to free speech. Arrests at Bush campaign stops, the arrest of a grieving mother who asked Laura Bush why her son had to die. Yes, I spoke out, then I went to work, paid bills, went about my life.
They tried to create an atmosphere of hate against those who were not of Christian faith. They've tried to ignore our privacy in the bedrooms between consenting adults, repress reproductive rights and lessen women's rights. Yes I wrote, I spoke out and then I went to work, paid bills and went on with my life. I voted Democrat across the board in 06, a token vote in this district and this state, South Carolina. I know, more symbolic then anything.
My husband reminded me last night, as he wrote up his diary, that just because it happened doesn't mean we should stop fighting. Regardless of what we feel we're fighting for. Compared to those men who took the first step to show their displeasure with the current rule of law they were under, I did nothing.
Did I stand up for what I believed in (regardless of the issue) and do what I could to have made a difference? Nope, not even in the slightest. People like Markos did though.
Markos Moulitsas -- a.k.a. "kos" -- created Daily Kos on May 26, 2002, in those dark days when an oppressive and war-crazed administration suppressed all dissent as unpatriotic and treasonous. As a veteran, Moulitsas was offended that the freedoms he pledged his life for were so carelessly being tossed aside by the reckless and destructive Republican administration.
Markos contributed greatly to a netroots movement, and created a site that allowed us to come together to work and let our voices be heard to make changes for what we believed in. Whether it was the abuse to the constitution, the war in Iraq, healthcare, unemployment, government reform and social issues that opposed the current administration.
In retrospect I could have done more. The question is what? I know dousing myself with gasoline and lighting myself on fire in front of the capital building would be ineffective. Yeah, I'm still voting for Obama (not like the argument "if I don't vote for him, McCain would win" would work in this instance if I chose not to - come on, I'm in South Carolina, there's a reason there's not alot of energy being poured into this state for Obama's campaign and the DNC - yet). For me, with Barrack Obama, it's not what he's doing now, but what he did in the past, such as vote against the MCA, that still gives me hope in him. His votes against laws that would violate the constitution, his stand for women's rights, his stand for diplomacy and ending the war.
I thought about throwing myself into the campaign for the Democratic challenger here, so I sent him an email, asking his stance on abortion, comprehensive reproductive education and what his thoughts on the FISA bill was. Yeah I can throw my energy into him because of he's democrat, but I agree with Markos when he said "Damn we need better Democrats". Doesn't help the cause if he's going to vote with the right. To be honest, if the choice was a Blue Dog Democrat or an Independent who would side with the progressives, I'd be more inclined to pick the one who will vote with the progressives, (especially given this last batch of Dems).
I know that the one thing that I can do is hold those accountable for past sins and grievances, and I've already acknowledged and accepted my part in this, by allowing myself to feel powerless, by not putting more effort into what I believe in, regardless of what it was/is that I believe in. For my daughters and my grandchildrens sake, for the betterment of this country, I vow I won't do that again.