Note: DO NOT RESPOND unless you read what I had to say, from a few respondees it's clear they aren't seeing my point here, and yes there is time, I am only asking 10 days of what is only 10% of people here, not all 145.
I The purpose for my first diary here is concerning not just the manner in which we--as either Obama or Hillary supporters--treat each other, but the way they treat themselves. This is not an attack towards any one side to either support or welcome the other unconditionally, as it's been clear that since Tuesday and increasingly more so the "unity" mantra has been resonating and doing so effectively. What were once avid Obama supporters who were only a week ago angry at anything related to Hillary's campaign I now see people apologizing to her supporters and offering an olive branch. Similarly, I see what were once staunchly on Hillary's side conceding a tough primary and are happily--albeit with a temporary slightly sad aura--voicing their desire and efforts to ensure Obama wins in November.
Let me clarify that I am honestly very new to this site (this is even my first diary) and have only known the recent apparently Pro-Obama (or otherwise Anti-Hillary) bias here (meant neutrally to state it simply reflects a specific view). I should also admit that I am an Obama supporter, although I was a fairly weakly leaning one until late April. As we all know, Obama secured the Democratic party presumptive nomination just this Tuesday and today (as of this moment less than an hour from now) Hillary is expected to suspend her campaign and give her support to Obama.
The purpose for my first diary here is concerning not just the manner in which we--as either Obama or Hillary supporters--treat each other, but the way they treat themselves. This is not an attack towards any one side to either support or welcome the other unconditionally, as it's been clear that since Tuesday and increasingly more so the "unity" mantra has been resonating and doing so effectively. What were once avid Obama supporters who were only a week ago angry at anything related to Hillary's campaign I now see people apologizing to her supporters and offering an olive branch. Similarly, I see what were once staunchly on Hillary's side conceding a tough primary and are happily--albeit with a temporary slightly sad aura--voicing their desire and efforts to ensure Obama wins in November.
In a way it's almost scary how much things have changed for the most part in just 72 hours, even though there are still pockets of resistance towards changing from the mind's Primary Election mindset from both sides.It is the last idea that I am wishing to address here, namely in how we handle it here, though excepting a few changes are applicable everywhere. I feel that while many of the calls from both sides for peace and unity amongst us are very genuine and accepted. However, there are still others that come across as superficial and frankly unrealistic. Allow me to explain under the fold where I am getting at.
First off, we all know that the primary has been, for lack of better words, dirty. We had two strong candidates who pretty much split the party with regards to support and passion, a phenomenon we haven't seen in the longest of time. While this demonstrates our concern for our nation and a desire to make things better after what will be 8 years of what history will judge as one of the worst Presidents we've ever had, the polarization towards one candidate over the other of such equal proportions has caused many rifts and divides amongst us. I am willing to put faith that most of these are temporary and are seen in pretty much any primary with passionate supporters of a candidate that ultimately loses, with those that are claiming to be more permanent are simply just those that take longer to heal as a result of the primary being so emotionally tiring and vested.
As for this polarization itself, there are many justifications spouted from either supporters, some justified some not. For argument's sake I will only focus on those prior to this week.
Speaking as an Obama supporter, I have taken offense to much condescension and a growing tendency to polarize on racial grounds. I also found that the handling of Florida and Michigan were frankly hypocritical and unfair (in all seriousness, who the hell holds an election saying "your votes won't count" but then say months later "you know what let's count them after all, rewarding those who voted anyway and punishing the others"), but will concede that the penalty should have been the ORIGINAL mandatory one imposed by DNC rules and that the handling of both states by the state parties were in themselves god-awful and shows great incompetence, but NOT to the fault of either candidate.
I cannot speak for a Hillary supporter, but I will mention what I see as legitimate concerns: the media has been unfair in their treatment of Hillary especially in the last couple months (though at times they were equally unfair to Obama, as to the extent of equal quantity is subjective), and the calls of Obama supporters and some surrogates (I give no blame to his campaign itself) to have her drop out as early as March. I also concede that the media has been sexist AS WELL as racist at many times, as were some supporters, but to extend that to the point of accusing the actual candidates as being sexist or racist is unfounded and frankly wrong. I also have taken offense by BOTH sides of labeling all supporters--not just the extreme ones--as "bots" or "-istas" or any other pejorative term.
I think that I speak for the majority of Obama supporters that I am willing to forgive any trespasses against my side made by Hillary supporters immediately, though on the condition that I will not take crap from those who are still in attack mode and who keep viewing me negatively just for my choice and are doing so aggressively and willfully. While some of the issues against Hillary are things that cannot go as easily and will take some effort and penance (which has already started and with today will hopefully be very far down that path), I am extending the same offer to them as well. I also hope that Hillary supporters are equally willing to do the same in turn towards our side--even with the same preconditions--and am understanding if there are any realistic concerns that they need addressed likewise by our side by Obama's campaign.
Now to my central point. While many if not most of us have already extended olive branches and have been mostly able to switch gears, there are some of us who are still with bones to pick and with animosity that has yet to cool. I will concede that many of those concerns are indeed legitimate and require time to cool off and heal, and likewise that some of them are irrational and/or are based on a rabidness or fantasy (I refuse to specify any either way as their specifics are not the point). To the latter group, I feel that it is the responsibility of both sides but more especially of those on the same side to demonstrate the absurdity of their arguments, my stress to be explained later. To the former group, we should all be willing to address those concerns whether they are based on policy or perceived mistreatment (but on precondition that one must be willing to concede if and when some of the perceptions are false or were misled in their formation), but both sides must be willing to do so in a civil and constructive manner. This means no saying "Hillary is worse than Bush", no open threats to not vote for Obama because of what is really a minority of his supporters, no insults; stick to the actual issue and be willing to be open-minded now that we aren't fighting over a primary.
I think this is the only constructive and realistic way to handle people who have a beef with one side or the other. However, we must be willing to concede the following: it is absolutely impossible to reason with someone who is being overly emotional, irrational, unwilling to be calm and civil, and absolutely unable to LISTEN to the other side. I do not say this as to suggest that such people are not being adults, though there are some on both sides who act frankly childishly, but rather from my own experiences with manic episodes; I know deep down that if I am in one--and it shares many of the symptoms as those manifested by these primaries--reasoning with me and trying to get me to participate in discussions of legitimate concerns is impossible and just ends up making things worse. But here's the thing, I always end up coming back to earth and back to being in a state where I can do those things, but what I need is TIME.
Everyone here always makes the call to unity and that we must set aside our differences, but no one ever considers that some of us need more time than others to get ourselves down from such high emotions. What's worse, I see that everyone always spouts that Clinton supporters need time to recoup from the campaign yet I see no one honestly advocating the same for Obama supporters. I realize that there is greater need and maybe slightly more urgency for Obama supporters to switch gears, since we're the ones who ultimately needs to bring the other side to us. However, if you honestly think we all can immediately switch the way our mindsets after such a primary you are not only being unfair but unrealistic. Thus, for the next week or so there may still be Obama supporters venting about the Clintons and/or her supporters, and you know what, THAT IS OKAY! The primary has only ended 4 days ago, we have 5 months to an election, and if 99% of us are able to get where we need for this GE then what is the problem if there's a few irrational diaries or comments, especially if we are getting them from BOTH sides?
I am not here to undermine the calls for unity, but what I am saying is that many of you are rushing this for those of our brothers and sisters who still need time to adjust. Hell I usually need three days after I finally crash back to Earth before I can do so. The point I am trying to make is that I think is that we need to accept completely that some of us need some more time (and I am going to be generous and say that day one is not Tuesday but today). We need to accept that some of us have vested more energy and emotion into this, and some of us have more inertia with regards to changing mental gears. We need to do so realistically, but we must also do so within reason.
While we must allow people the time to lick their wounds or to otherwise cool down, we have a responsibility and the right to expect the civility and rationality to even consider "unity". What I want to suggest to all Kossacks here is a list of things we can do that will ease the process and make things here much more habitable for all Democrats (or anyone else supporting one for President).
- Let people write their diaries if they are addressing legitimate concerns and answer them in the civil and respectful manner that they deserve. If it's something that is being far out there and stupid, don't hesitate to call them out. If it is merely venting (defined as someone being angry and hardly giving any good points worth discussing), let them vent and just ignore it, as any affirmations of agreement or a disagreeing rebuttal is just going to fan the flames.
- Do not tell others to "act towards unity"; if someone needs to be told this, very likely they are not in a state in which they can act towards that, otherwise they are probably offering a legitimate concern and you should not condescend them, as such a call WILL be perceived. If they are acting uncivil and perhaps attacking someone (be it Obama, Clinton, or either of their supporters), merely tell them once that their actions are not welcome on this site and leave them alone even if they make a nasty response. I know from experience that the quickest way for me to calm down is for people to show that my actions are unacceptable and to walk away.
- If people are acting in a flaming or trolling manner (e.g. making conspiracy theories about either candidate, threatening against November votes and rationalizing it in a very suspect and nonconstructive way, or being insultive), don't give them the attention they are clearly seeking. Unless they are offering something constructive, all that is necessary a direct and to-the-point declaration that it goes against what we're here for and tell them if that is what they want to do then to go elsewhere. Otherwise, let our silence tell them that their behavior is not welcome here. As a corollary, if some Hillary supporters are coming here and declaring that they may not vote for Obama (namely for unfair or otherwise asinine reasons) and show no desire to discuss how we can help to change their minds or at least address their concerns, let them go. Many of them may change their minds once they cool off, everyone else should know that this site works to elect DEMOCRATS and their commentary go against the purpose of this site and should be redirected elsewhere. Let them know that, and refuse to discuss the matter any further; it should be THEIR responsibility to set up the climate for discussion and to show a willingness to discuss, but it should be ours to welcome positive demonstrations of such and to be unwelcome of those lacking it.
- If someone merely offers a point of view, unless it fits the negatives that call for (1) or (3), be respectful. If it is something you feel is not helpful but is not necessarily hurtful, then feel free to have no part of it. No one is demanding that you comment or reply, and surely we often walk away from many an inane discussion here.
- This one is more specifically targeted towards Clinton supporters: if this site for whatever reason has lost your favor due to the Obama-bias or the actions/words of some supporters, I recommend that you leave until such a time that we represent a more suitable climate and until such a time that you are willing to be a constructive part of the community. If it is that bad to be here, then why be here? Also, if you have to make an announcement that you desire to leave, then you are doing nothing but attention-whoring so just go. To everyone else here, just tell such members what I just said and don't engage any further; if they have to announce their departure, it's clear they are more concerned with hijacking the thread and that's when we get into trouble amongst ourselves with regards to civility.
- Most importantly, do not be afraid to point out unacceptable behavior here, that is behavior that acts against our best interests and addresses nothing constructive. That said, you must also be understanding that we need to give everyone the time and space to adjust, calm down, etc. It will NOT be overnight, and it probably will be a week or two before the majority of what still exists will have settled. That said, I am proud that what we see currently is a very small percent of what we have seen just days prior. We should do our best to act towards unity, and we must not forget to give positive reinforcement when such actions are taken by BOTH sides. Towards everyone else, we must be firm with our beliefs, but we must be respectful and realistic and be supportive of those us who still need time, while being firm that their participation is only welcome when they act towards our goals.
I hope that this diary resonates in some way and hopefully we can make things more amicable as we get ready to beat the hell out of McSame this November! If there are any other suggestions that you'd like to add to the list, feel free to let me know and if they fit I'll update to add them. I apologize if I am repetitive at times, as many of the issues I address aren't exactly disjoint from each other, and if it was long for I had a lot to say.