With John McCain ever more desperate to gain attention for his faltering campaign, and ever more resentful of Obama's rising, it was predictable that he would fall back on one of his few remaining consolations: songwriting. (Right now he can't engage in his other favorite pastimes, such as gambling away thousands at Vegas craps tables, and engaging in friendly banter with his wife, publicly uttering endearments such as "You makeup-slathered trollop!")
Through covert means, which I am not at liberty to divulge, I managed to obtain the latest version of McCain's lyrics fitted to an old standard, "I've Got You Under My Skin," which he retitled:
Barack, You're Under My Skin
Some may believe tampering with the inimitable Cole Porter is musical blasphemy, and demand that the offender apologize. But don't be surprised if McCain not only refuses to apologize, but flatly denies knowing anything about this stuff. (Typical Republican, no sense of personal responsibility.)
The whole number is below the jump, with wonderfully appropriate graphics courtesy of the talented, clever, and resourceful Horsefeathers.
(Graphics by Horsefeathers)
Barack, You're Under My Skin
Barack, you're under my skin
Your campaign takes all the heart from me
Your agile mind leaves mine behind
You're twice as smart as me
Barack, you're under my skin
I never dreamed this would be
Pundits all said, "Hil is the nominee"
No thought that I'd see grow the
Unvetted Negro's capacity
Barack, you're under my skin
I try to lie -- that's been why I get by -- glibly fibbing to those "Town Hall" rubes
Now if I change a word, soon I'm heard being slurred --
By myself, in those goddamn You-tubes!
Obama's under my skin
Each gaffe I make, surely Barack will pounce
My well-rehearsed jibes seem accursed:
And the worst is, my polls don't bounce
Barack's got under my skin
I tried a knock: "What -- no walk in Iraq?" thought that mocking Barack was good spin;
So he does a worldwide tour -- cable's topic du jour!
From Iraq to Amman to Berlin!
Barack, you're under my skin
In Berlin, you drew two-hundred-thou'
To them you're a sleek Yankee Clipper,
I'm just a garbage scow
Barack, you're under my skin
No, I'm no little fool,
Vainly hoping to win
I spurn your reality;
I'll stump on Venality
Yet at night I cry and I curse the sky --
Why'd this guy pick '08 for "all in"?
Now Barack, you're under my skin
Under my skin . . .
(Dammit, Berlin?!!)
Oh crap, he could win . . .
Kudos to Horsefeathers, my virtual co-producer, for more of his wonderfully evocative, perfect-in-tone graphics! If you'd like to see another Horsefeathers original, he also provided the great graphics (acclaimed in the comments as classic, and compared to Dood Abides "Wizard" piece) for McCain's rendition of a Gilbert & Sullivan classic, restyled as "I Am the Hoary Archetype of Yesteryear's Politico."
Last but not least, a plug for the Overnight News Digest, a regular DailyKos feature a lot of Kossacks still don't know about. Created by Magnifico, the OND is produced nightly by him and a rotating series of editors, including but not limited to the indefatigable ek hornbeck, Neon Vincent (who does OND Science Saturdays), Sidof79, ScottyUrb, Patriot Daily News Clearinghouse, webranding, and jlms qkw. OND is a great late-night/early-morning news resource, usually posted shortly after midnight, Eastern time. The tag, as you might surmise, is "Overnight News Digest." Please check it out. Caveat: stories moving on the wires at OND, though provoking many substantive, informative comments, also provoke the occasional (!) pun or other witticism, or a few lines of doggerel.