Thinking of writing a right wing swiftboat book but not sure how to start? Never Fear! Just follow the simple steps after the jump...
- Find someone to write the book.
Only consider those people who have no moral compass, and no meaningful connection with reality. Check the right wing blogs for possible authors-a history of hate speech and self-contradictory conspiracy theories is a must. How about the person who wrote your last swift boat book?
- Research the book,
and remember you aren't writing a college essay here; if you want to make an allegation but can't find a source for it just write a blog containing the allegation then cite that. Anything negative about your subject is credible; any positive about your subject is not credible. NEVER CHECK YOUR FACTS it will only confuse you and distract you from the narrative.
- Get the book written,
Hand your truthiness facts over to your chosen author, let him use his imagination and creative skills, remember coherency, accuracy and good prose is for losers. The aim here is to fit as many rumours and allegations as possible in to the book.
- Get your book published by a sympathetic Publishing House, for example does one of your political strategists happen to be chief editor of a large publishing company?
- Get your book on the NYT Best Seller list
don’t worry, this is far less difficult than it sounds, you'll only need to sell 10 to 20 thousand copies. Simply instruct organisations sympathetic to your cause to buy the books in bulk and give them away for free. Now's the time to contact those lobbyist pals.
- Now that your book is on the New York Times Best Seller List the media will begin to report its contents- Well Done, You have no successfully began your swift boating campaign. But remember, stay on message and never let truth get in the way of letting the public know about your truthiness.
Good Luck!