If there’s one thing we know about John McCain, it’s that he’s a stratight-talkin’ maverick ex-POW. (Don’t feel bad if you didn’t know the POW thing; he doesn’t like to talk about it much.)
Because he’s a straight-talkin’ maverick ex-POW, those who criticize what McCain says or, worse, disagree with him reveal themselves to be flip-flopping, politically correct anti-patriots who are willing to lose a war in order to win an election. Talk about an embarrassing faux pas! And a difficult one to avoid in light of the fact that much of what McCain says appears at first glance to be, how to put this delicately? incredibly stoopid, certifiably insane or both.
There is, fortunately, a fairly easy way to avoid such humiliations. I explain after the break.
What those who criticize or disagree with McCain fail to realize is that the Senator speaks an non-standard English dialect known as Maverick. Wikipedia describes a "non-standard dialect," such as southern English, as having "a complete vocabulary, grammar, and syntax, but [it] is not the beneficiary of institutional support." By understanding the vocabulary, grammar and syntax that distinguish Maverick, you can learn what Senator McCain actually meant when he said that thing the other day that sounded so stoopid or insane. And you can avoid that embarrassing moment when the conversation stops and all eyes turn to you and you can practically hear everyone in the room ask themselves, "Who in Heaven’s name is that flip-flopping, politically correct anti-patriot who is willing to lose a war in order to win an election? And do I have to be the one to beat the tar out of him or her? Or will someone else do it?"
What I aim to do in this diary (and perhaps future diaries) is to take an example of a statement by Senator McCain in which his use of the Maverick dialect might cause some confusion. I will spell out what you might think he meant, explain what he really meant and demonstrate how you could have avoided the embarrassing error of reacting to what you thought the Senator meant rather than what he actually did mean. Along the way, I will try to call attention to the general rules that undergird the dialect of Maverick – its vocabulary, grammar and syntax – in an attempt to help you master Maverick so that you can not only understand Senator McCain but can converse fluently in Maverick on your own. Before long, you will be amongst the ones who can recognize and mock the flip-flopping, politically correct anti-patriots in your midst who are willing to lose a war in order to win an election. You can, in short, stand with the tarrers and featherers rather than having to flee.
Let’s start with a simple, widely-known example. You will recall, I am certain, that on a trip to the Middle East in March, Senator McCain made a comment with respect to al-Qaeda members training in Iran that, to the untrained ear, might have appeared technically inaccurate. Fortunately, also present at the time was Senator Joseph Lieberman, the Democrats’ 2000 vice-presidential prick who is fluent in Maverick. Lieberman recognized that some reporters, not well-versed in the dialect, might have misunderstood. He whispered in Senator McCain’s ear a quick reminder and the presumptive 2008 Republican presidential nominee quickly restated his point in standard English, thereby enabling those who do not speak Maverick to avoid the embarrassment of accusing McCain of less than perfect comprehension of the situation in and around Iraq.
Now let’s break the statement down and begin to see how we can understand Maverick even if no former vice-presidential pricks are present to provide an on-the-spot translation.
What McCain said: "Well, it’s common knowledge and has been reported in the media that Al Qaeda is going back into Iran and is receiving training and are coming back into Iraq from Iran. That’s well known and it’s unfortunate."
What you might have thought McCain meant: Members of al-Qaeda, the terrorist group that attacked the United States on September 11, 2001 by hijacking and flying commercial airliners into the World Trade Center and the Pentagon, were entering Iran where they received military training. These al-Qaeda members subsequently returned to Iraq where they used their newly-honed skills to fight and kill American soldiers and other personnel and to wreak havoc in the troubled nation. There are many documented instances of al-Qaeda members receiving training in Iran and returning to Iraq. These instances have been reported on television, in newspapers and/or in other respected media. Indeed, so many members of al-Qaeda in Iraq were trained in Iran that the pattern is "common knowledge." This activity is so well-documented that there’s really no reason to provide any more examples.
Why, after hearing what McCain said, you might have had some concern: As Think Progress put it at the time,
The "common knowledge" McCain cites is simply false. Far from working together, Iran and al Qaeda represent opposing sides in the Iraq civil war. Al Qaeda is a Sunni Muslim extremist group, while Iran is ruled by Shiites, where they make up 90 percent of the population.
Surely a serious candidate for President of the United States, especially one running as an expert in national security, would never make such a simple error.
What McCain really meant: "The Iranians are training the extremists, not Al Qaeda." While in most cases, we must wait for the candidate’s campaign office to interpret his Maverick for us, in this instance, we were very lucky to have a fluent Maverick speaker on hand. Accordingly, we are able to get an immediate translation from the candidate himself (once Senator Lieberman prompted him, of course).
Analysis: Speakers of Maverick have achieved a level of enlightenment and moral superiority to non-Maverick speakers who are handicapped by the demands of what Maverick speakers consider to be intolerable burdens of "political correctness." Indeed, this higher level of consciousness is embedded in the very structures, syntax and grammar of the Maverick dialect. Accordingly, Maverick speakers frequently express the implicit belief that "If you have seen one (insert racial or ethnic category), you have seen them all." By ignoring the distinctions imposed by the demands of political correctness, the Maverick speaker asserts his or her ability to "talk straight" and articulate a point of view usually buried in unnecessary "nuance."
While, in most situations, such "straight talk" appears relatively harmless, occasionally, in the Maverick speaker’s rejection of "nuance," he or she inadvertently appears ignorant of distinctions that some voters might consider important. In this incident, we can see this aspect of the Maverick dialect quite clearly. By describing the extremists allegedly training in Iran and entering Iraq as members of al-Qaeda, Senator McCain expressed the important, if politically incorrect, truth that distinctions between towel-headed extremists who want to kill Americans are simply not cost effective. Just because they also may hate and wish to kill each other is far less important than the straight-talking truth expressed by the Maverick speaker, namely, that the crucial consideration is that the extremists hate and wish to kill us. Provided at the prompting of Senator Lieberman, the translated version of Senator McCain’s remarks made his statement understandable to the non-Maverick speaker who might otherwise have misinterpreted McCain’s comments as indicative of dangerous ignorance of the situation in Iraq,
In the coming weeks, I hope to provide similar analysis of Senator McCain’s use of the Maverick dialect. Indeed, as I drafted this diary, reports surfaced that Senator McCain may have endorsed the reinstitution of the military draft. Rest assured that I have already submitted his statement to my crack team of Maverick translators. I will do my best to report our findings as quickly as possible. By November, it is my hope that every reader of Daily Kos will be as fluent in Maverick as Senator Lieberman or other prominent straight-talking Maverick speakers such as Bill O’Reilly and Sean Hannity.
John McCain: Maverick. Straight talker. One of us.