Dear Olympic National Committee,
I would like to thank the Chinese dictatorship for sponsoring a spectacle worthy of a nation with an unlimited budget and a surging inferiority complex . A large tacky affair with some local costumes, like other nations have traditionally produced, would not have been a proper coming out party for the new China. Only proper totalitarian countries can marshal thousands to perform in machine like precision for the pride of the nation. China has proven worthy of a Gold Medal leaving North Korea a distant silver. This is an achievement that is as much historical as it is Las Vegas.
We have to go back several generations since one of Belgium's neighbors proudly created the medium, but with that unpleasantness set aside, we can all agree we had seen nothing like it and will have to wait until China gets another opportunity to see something like it again.
Note to London: please don't try to coordinate 2,012 Brits to do anything this precise especially if there is anything on tap nearby.
China has more than kept their commitments to the IOC and the world on pollution abatement, human rights improvement and open access for the world press.
I heartily laud the improvements in the air pollution in Beijing as no athlete has died yet and the ability to feel the vichyssoise like touch of the air was been an added pleasure especially to the French.
The human rights improvements have also been dramatic in keeping with the commitments made to us. Surely there were a few dead-enders that took the Chinese government up on the teaser opportunity to protest in the three designated spots (two more than even I suggested). Of the only 77 applicants (surely a sign of a happy populace), most are now satisfied with the process from where ever they are spending their time quietly. Those two old ladies, especially the blind one, did require some serious "re-education through labor" for applying repeatedly and so disrupting the peace of the Olympics. I was happy to spot for the transport for their year in the country.
An open press is problematic to western societies and the IOC. I can understand how a developing country such as China might have had technical problems in allowing full access to web sites banned by the Great Firewall of China. It is Great for a reason and I'm sure it took years to put up so maybe they didn't have the time to take it down.
Now of course even a dictatorship no matter how efficient will suffer a few very minor glitches. I am free to alibi for them now that the careless world press has revealed them to you.
There was the matter of the really cute 9 year old Chinese lipsyncher fronting for the merely cute 7 year old with the angel's voice but still needing state sponsored braces to make her "propaganda perfect". There was the brilliant and beautiful, but now paralyzed, classical dancer that was hurt in rehearsal and hidden from all reports. The small matter of the digital fireworks at the opening ceremonies and perhaps the general air of military control that added just the right festive spirit to a sport celebration.
As with every human endeavor there are things we could do better. I would certainly like to focus on what I can say was the greatest danger to the integrity of the Olympic movement here in Beijing. I know I need hardly bring this matter up but it is my solemn duty as the leader to be earnest and blunt in proportion to the gravity of the risks.
I am of course speaking of the undue celebratory excess of one Usain Bolt, alleged to be the fastest man on earth. I am, like any other Belgian, prone to let out a yelp or two when things go well but Bolt was just over the top with both of his Gold medals and world records. I wish I had had a few of those goose stepping troops at my beck and call to have him, his gold shoes and that gaudy flag hauled out of the stadium in mid tribal dance. I can't say how embarrassed I was for him and his tiny Island nation. Although I have not visited there, they were ruled by the British and I am sure they were ashamed too. I commit for London in 2012 to make sure abuses, such as this, of the Olympic spirit will not recur.
In closing I can only say that the tiny Chinese gymnasts, a few with gaps of their milk teeth (and passports to prove anything), have in the end only made us all amazed at the success a dictatorship can achieve with some marketing muscle, billions of dollars and the proper support from your International Olympic Committee.
Your amie,
Jacques Rogge
"See you in London 2012"