UPDATE 12:12 AM CST: CNN called it for Biden, and I still haven't received my damned text message! Obama camp, thanks for picking someone with some spirit and passion to add to the dream ticket. Very pleased with this decision.
I'd like my aviators with amber lenses, please. ;)
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UPDATE 6:24 PM CST: Andrea M reports that Hardball has claimed the Obama-Bayh Bumper Stickers are, in fact, fakes.
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The only thing funnier than pundits spinning themselves into a web of false predictions is the "breaking news" reports issued by Drudge Report and the like of Dem ticket merchandise being mass produced. Oh stop the presses! Breaking news, right this minute:
FLASH: Fri Aug 22 2008 17:52:03 ET /// KMBC's Micheal Mahoney reports a company in Kansas City, which specializes in political literature, has been printing Obama-Bayh material... MORE... Gill Studios, would not confirm information about the material. They would not deny it either. At least three sources close to the plant's operations reported the Obama-Bayh material was being produced...
So... Obama-Bayh stickers are being printed... in Kansas City... and three whole people close to the plant's operations are named as sources! It must be true!
But wait! Huff Post's Wes Isley is privy to an email that reveals Obama-Biden tee-shirts are about to go on sale!
"Subject: [GreensboroLGBTforObama] -- URGENT -- NEW OBAMA T-SHIRTS & BUTTONS OUT TODAY
***** HELP THE BARACK OBAMA CAMPAIGN *****
From Obama Blog Group member William Castronuovo:
Go to www.ElectObamaStore.com and get everything Obama today.
We all know the Obama campaign could use the proceeds during this election!
HUNDREDS OF OBAMA-ONLY ITEMS IN STOCK NOW!
Get Barack Obama campaign gear you can't get anywhere else.
New design updates posted each day.
* Obama-Biden campaign items will be posted on Thursday, Aug. 21, 2008.
E-MAIL EVERYONE YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS STORE
The Greensboro Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transvestite for Obama group claims that the Senator from Delaware is the one to have his name beneath Obama's on the coveted logo that we'll see hundreds of times every day for the next two months.
And this just in! A friend of a friend of mine who's uncle works at a cotton manufacturing plant in Juneau, Alaska, claims that they are packaging boxes of Obama-Kennedy tube socks! Which Kennedy? We don't know! That's half the fun!
I think I'll buy all of the supposed Obama + Veep merchandise and store it on my "jump the gun rack," alongside my "It's Gephardt!" New York Post front page from when he was named Kerry's choice for VP. Thank God they had the good sense not to make those Giuliani for Prez 9/11 Commemorative Plates. That may have been in bad taste. (Note to readers: there actually are 9/11 commemorative plates, and furthermore, an entire eHow site dedicated called: "How to Collect 9/11 Commemorative Art." Because really, nothing pays homage to that day better than having that sparkling on your dining room mantle.)
Maybe misprinting campaign merchandise is the way to go, though. After all, they seem to rake in quite a profit on Ebay (where, by the way, you can purchase Obama-Lennon campaign gear for a bargain price of $14.99 (that's John Lennon, FYI).