"I am grateful for the fact that I have a wonderful life, [and in particular for the fact that I didn't have to do any work for it.]"
"I spent some years without a kitchen table, without a chair, [did you know that I was a POW?] and I know what it's like to be blessed by the opportunities [to divorce my first wife, marry a rich heiress, and live large on her inherited wealth while she stiffs her own immediate family of any inheritance or consideration, thereby allowing me to buy more expensive loafers, forget how many houses I own, and hire more domestic servants on the allowance I derive from the annual interest on my wife's investments] of this great nation."
"Cindy's father, who barely finished high school, went off and distinguished himself in World War II in a B-17 [similarly, I distinguished myself by my service in Vietnam, where I was a POW] and came back with practically nothing and realized the American dream [of selling lots and lots of beer], and I am proud and grateful for that [since I've been living off the proceeds for the last twenty-five years], and I think he is a role model to many young Americans who serve in the military and come back and succeed [you too can strike it rich by selling alcohol and then hope that your daughter will marry a carpet-bagger son-in-law who had just cheated on and divorced his first wife, who will then use your money to attain high political office and publicly call your daughter a trollop]."