In a diary Friday, I disagreed with someone’s - in my view - inappropriate interjection of race into various comments. In return I was called a racist. Oddly, I had just decided that the next diary I wrote was going to be about the value of DKos in my life and how it’s served as a wonderful outlet. Instead I decided to write this.
Typically, I try to avoid discussions about race in such forums. I know emotions tend to fly and often things get heated. It is hard to have such discussion and conduct them with respect for each other and understanding in most situations. The pace and anonymity of the blogging, plus the lack of tone exasperate the problem. I don’t just avoid such conversations on-line, however, I’ve also avoided them with some of my real life friends and loved one.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say on the issue, if anything I have too much. But early on I learned that such discussions lead to trouble. It’s one of those areas where people tend to have fixed opinions and are unwilling or afraid to reconsider. In many ways stubbornly cling to our views is understandable. Accepting a new point of view means that your previous view was wrong or incomplete and being wrong about racial issues strike to close to being racist. I think that’s why we cling to our opinion and easily attack differing views as racist so easily. We have a vested stake in being right and protecting our view of your own goodness.
However, given the nature of the historic contest that is about to take place race is about to take center stage (and backstage) in our national theater. Since my interest in politics generally and my passionate interest in seeing the Republicans out of the White House means I either need to get comfortable talking about race or go hide, I thought I’d take the first steps.
So, I’m going to do something that I don’t normally do. I’m going to start a discussion about race with my friends. And yes, I count the people of this community as my friends (even if you don’t all get Christmas cards).
Perhaps we can agree to some ground rules. Maybe they’ll help steer us around some of the biggest pitfalls in such discussions:
1 – Let’s agree not to call anyone a racist. The overwhelming amount of the time we are just wrong. For example, when the commenter called me a racist I hinted at my "cred" as a warning that he needed to stop and apologize. His response indicated that the only credentials that he cared about would be if I was black like himself. I didn’t tell him (because it really shouldn’t matter) that I am black. More accurately I am biracial but primarily characterized as black. I didn’t want the merits of my argument to turn on my skin color so I didn’t give him the information he wanted. An important reminder, one of the joys of DKos is that it is colorblind. You never know what race someone is unless they tell you (and even then they could be lying if they needed to prove a point).
Just as importantly the use of the word "racist" shuts down discussion and turns the argument away from its merits.
2 – Let’s acknowledge that we all have some race-based prejudice. None of us is perfect and we are all been influenced by society. The goal should be to recognize those prejudices and strive to overcome them.
3 – Let’s acknowledge that race matters, even though it shouldn’t. As long as racial prejudices exist people will have diverse experiences based on their race. Those experiences can be very painful and embittering. And denying there are problems can be akin to discounting someone’s experience.
4 – Let’s accept that people have a right to be offended. We need to respect that. To tell someone that they shouldn’t be is never productive. For me at least, when I’ve gotten to the point that I am stating I’m offended it means that my buttons have been pushed. Keep pushing or tell me I am wrong or not entitled to be offended and things will only go down hill from there. Just as everyone is entitled to their own opinion they are entitled to be offended.
5 – Let’s admit to ignorance and try to remedy it in ourselves and others. I know I have not always done my part to help others remedy it. Once someone makes an ignorant comment I either discount the individual or they are there after ignored or hated. That’s the easy way out.
I would love to hear people’s thoughts. Am I out of line? Can you think of more proposed rules? Do you think these rules are asking too much? Can we have a discussion about race without the kid gloves or are they necessary?
Being biracial, I’ve been in the middle of racial issues my entire life. Heck my own family has had trouble dealing with these issues and we love each other. While on some level I am so tired of these issues, I’m going to have to learn to deal. I’d love it if this diary could give me some hope. Can we make it through the election without things getting to ugly? Can we make it through one diary?