Hello everyone! I want to tell you about this wonderful friend of mine, who I think you should select to be your heart surgeon! She is absolutely more qualified than your other options for this very critical procedure. The other surgeons fall far short of the Heart Surgeon in Chief Test! Are you still with me? Read more!!
I understand that choosing a Heart Surgeon is a very important decision. With that in mind, you certainly want someone with outstanding experience. Other heart surgeons, such as Dr. Amabo or Dr. Nedib, only have a few years of surgical experience. While they were actually in the operating room, helping to make important decisions that impacted the lives of their patients, their experience falls far short of my friend Secretary Nilap!
Case in point, while Amabo and Nedib were elbow-deep in important decisions, Nilap was, in true maverick fashion, answering the phones at a small community clinic serving a population of thousands! Prior to her almost two-year professional career of making the important decisions of whether to transfer your calls to voicemail or personally take the message, Ms. Nilap served on the board of her local Candy Striper group! During her term as board member, she fought hard against corruption by her fellow Candy Stripers, even taking on that slut Linda who was trying to waste a bunch of potentially donated money on a massaging recliner. By helping to defeat that decision (and totally putting that slut in her place), the group was able to put those same donations into buying a foosball table that can be enjoyed by the nearly five candy stripers in the area!
I know that you may think this is an absurd suggestion, that someone with no tangible experience in heart surgery should be your ideal choice for a medical procedure, but other candy stripers and receptionists alike will attest to her experience. They understand how much more qualified Ms. Nilap is than your other choices of Surgeons with at least five years of experience in the national field of surgery. Instead of just sitting around in an operating room making important decisions, like Drs. Amabo and Nedib, Ms. Nilap was really on the ground in situations that mattered. Whether competing in Beauty Pageants, eating moose burgers, or giving speeches halfway across the country while pregnant, Ms. Nilap has been building her resume with the important qualifications you need in a Heart Surgeon! Compare this to Dr. Amabo, who spent his years before becoming a Surgeon doing the selfish work of being a community organizer, or serving as legislator for a population many times greater than Nilap’s group, but that just means that he couldn’t give them as much personal attention!
It should be noted, of course, that Ms. Nilap does not necessarily have to be your first choice for Heart Surgeon, as she is offering her services in combination with those services of an experienced Heart Surgeon, Dr. McNiac, who though still active in the profession, is well beyond retirement age.