(Ahh, not another Palin diary! Sorry, I couldn't help myself. The flesh is weak.)
Dear Governor Sarah Palin:
Congratulations on being selected as the Republican nominee for Vice President! Even though the Democrats broke this barrier 24 years ago, a female nominee for the GOP should be celebrated just as merrily. It's good to know the party against Equal Pay still has the courage to choose a woman as second-in-command.
The past few days must seem like a blur to you. All but unknown three days ago, you have been thrust into the spotlight. The next few days will be no easier. You'll be vetted (for the first time?) by the ruthless media and watched carefully by a curious American public. Thanks to Youtube and The Google, everything you've ever said or done is on the record.
Voters will have to ask: Are you qualified for this position? How will you answer them?
In justice to the American people - and in justice to your political future - I call on you to withdraw from the race.
(Reasons below the fold)
Governor, you've already
* lied about the most famous nonexistent bridge in America
* received boos from a Republican crowd
* been defended on Fox News in a factually horrendous fashion
Stop while you're ahead behind.
We don't have much in common. I'm a socio-communist; you're right-wing. You're from the Last Frontier; I live on the Eastern seaboard. But I know we share one thing: the desire to survive.
I see at least two convenient ways to remove yourself from this election:
- Resign out of protest. Let the McCain people know you're not a tool, or a carrot to be dangled for a potential win. Everybody knows that if Joe Lieberman filled out a change of party form and had a sex change, he'd be the one standing next to McCain. Say that you support their campaign, but Alaska needs you more. We're talking about serious "maverick" cred here. Make McCain look like the pansy that he is. If this plays out correctly, I see GOVERNOR PALIN in bright lights in the new marquee of the GOP. But you've got to act quickly.
- Allow the investigation to play out in your favor. This is Alaskan politics: be creative here. (No one has to know.) Have them find you guilty of some trivial charge. You'll do 10 minutes of community service and be on your merry way.
Deep down inside, you know you are not sufficiently qualified for this monumental job. Think of what's at risk here:
*The security of our nation (or Alaska for that matter).
*The future of every female nominee that follows, especially ones from Alaska and Sarahs.
*Our standing in the world.
*Your future. Your family's future.
What's more, I don't think you want the job. Asked repeatedly by nosy reporters about taking a VP slot, you explained time and time again how the needs of Alaska came first. If you wanted to be president, you would have run for it like all the other wishful thinkers, plain and simple.
In order for your political career to survive the winter, end this charade. Show McSame who's boss. Out-maverick the Maverick. Wouldn't it be great if The Surprise was the one doing the surprising? Don't stay aboard their sinking ship. Say "Thanks, but no thanks." Remember: these are the sample people who eat cake while people drown. When this ends badly (and it will), don't expect them to help you rebuild. You might as well follow New Orleans's lead and evacuate.
Signed,
A fellow political hopeful
(Crossposted on my tumblr)