The other day I went to the racetrack; had a bundle of cash, and ready to invest it in picking the winning horses. I had wonderful dreams and aspirations about leaving the building a very rich person.
I started out really well pickiing the winners in the first two races, and hitting all sorts of exotic bets, exactas and trifectas. It was sheer joy.
By the third race things began to sour a bit, and some of the money I had earned began to disappear. However not to worry I just kept on investing more, and then more, and then more. It wasn't long before, it was all gone, and I was out of cash.
Luckily, however, I was with friends at the park and was able to borrow lots of money to stay in the game, but, unluckily, as the day progressed I fell further and further into the abyss, and soon even my friends had enough of my borrowing. I was broke and without any means to recoup my losses.
On the way home I was devastated, all my investments were gone. All my money gone, and my debts had skyrocketed. I had no idea where to turn. But then, in a flash, it came to me, and I knew everything would be ok.
All I had to do was write to the Bush government to reimburse me for my losses. After all it shouldn't be my reponsibility for drowning away my investments. Why should I have to suffer any consequences as a result of my failed investment? What I needed was a Bush government bailout. All I needed to do was tell them that I risked my money and lost it all. It was an ideal plan. They need to send me my money back with all my expenses included.
Now you may think my losses are my responsibility, but happily that's not the way the Bush government thinks. You may believe I shouldn't be reimbursed just because I made rotten investments, but the Bush government knows better.
You may wonder had I won, would I be willing to share my winnings. Of course not. I was the one who took all the risks why should I care about anyone else. It's not their business to pry into my affairs, is it?. And one more thing, why are my winnings subjected to such high taxes? I definitely believe that taxing ones winnings are wrong, just dead wrong.
In any event I'm now waiting for a reply from the Bush government and a nice big check to bail me out, so I could go right back to investing my money again next week. I'm just hoping I don't have to wait too long. I know they're trying to put a rush on that AIG check. I just hope mine gets the same priority.