Normally I tend to avoid bandwagons, but today I'm proud to jump on with the growing number of folks who are sharing tales of elderly family members, usually dyed-in-the-wool Republicans, switching to Obama.
My grandmother turned 92 earlier this month. That's pretty damn old. But if you're picturing a frail, doddering lady in a rocking chair with an afghan draped across her knees and a cup of tea resting on a lace doily next to a framed photo of her 7 great-grandchildren, you're picturing someone else's grandmother.
What you need to visualize is totally hot mama with a spectacular wardrobe who drives a ruby red 2008 Grand Am, who's still having sex with her latest boy toy (he's only 82), who lives alone in a 4-bedroom, 2-story house that she cleans herself (she's only recently stopped using her wood stove during the winter, but only because her skin has become rather fragile and handling the logs gives her unsightly bruises unbecoming of a fashion plate such as herself), who hoots like a monkey at the most ribald jokes, and who would no more allow a doily in her home than she would renounce the two stiff Manhattans she knocks back every evening while playing live bridge online.
My grandmother is by far the coolest elderly person I've ever known. She is utterly oblivious to her real age, and that is of course why she's in such good shape. Unlike many older folks, our fast-changing times have not upset her in the least. She's delighted that today one can download pirated torrents and watch films for free. She's pleased that our country has come far enough along to have African-Americans and women in the presidential race. She's particularly happy about the influx of ethnic minorities into her sleepy R.I. town, contrary to the view of her xenophobic peers, since that means she's got a wider range of interesting ethnic restaurants to choose from (she's addicted to getting dolled up and dining out). If she's nostalgic for anything, it's for her once fabulous figure and regal posture, now somewhat compromised by 9+ decades on this earth, but she doesn't pine for "better times". These times, our times, are the best, and she can see that.
Her only flaw is that she's a lifelong Republican - and what's worse, if you ask her why, she really can't (or won't) say. For her, voting Republican is as natural and automatic as braking at a red light. You don't question it, you just do it. It's the right thing to do.
This has driven me insane since I was old enough to know about such things. Discussing Reagan with her was bad enough, so you can imagine how frustrating it was talking about Bush I, and now Bush II. How such an otherwise open-minded person could so obstinately refuse to even contemplate the possibility that these men were less than perfect has boggled my mind for decades.
Until yesterday.
That's right. Raise the flags and sound the trumpets, because my 92-year-old grandmother, whose first vote was cast in 1940 against FDR in favor of Wendell Wilkie and who has never since strayed outside what has been her loyal marriage to the GOP, told me yesterday that she is voting for Barack Obama on November 4th.
Interestingly, it was the women, more than the candidates themselves, who turned her - Michelle Obama, Cindy McCain, Sarah Palin and most decisively, Hillary Clinton. Let me explain.
She sees nothing fundamentally wrong with John McCain, is comforted by his experience, and is happy to leave it, as always, at that. She likes Obama too, thinks he's charming and smart, but too young to be President (just as she thought Kennedy and Clinton were too young), her model of the ideal President being Ronald Reagan.
So, on that basis alone, she would've gone for McCain, in keeping with the habit of the past 16 elections (!!) in which she's voted.
Why the women, and why Hillary in particular? Well, my grandmother was a big-busted blonde beauty in her youth and, as you may have gathered from my description, her present identity remains tied to the self-image forged long ago - much as I, at 49, am still fundamentally the hippie rocker I was 25 years ago. We are all of us largely governed by the 20-something self living inside our aging frames, right? So naturally, my grandmother looks at other women from the perspective of how they represent themselves as she herself defines what it means to be a women.
Michelle Obama is my grandmother's kind of lady - beautiful, impeccably elegant but in an understated way, with a combination of exquisite manners and genuine, down-to-earth warmth. She loves listening to Michelle on the talk shows speaking about her family and her marriage, thinks she's a wonderful mom and that the Obamas are truly nice people. She's also impressed by how Michelle can make complicated things sound simple. She says she's learned more about Obama's positions from Michelle than from Barack, who she finds hard to follow sometimes.
Cindy McCain, on the other hand, revolts her. She thinks Cindy is "phony" and "flashy" - a show-off, in other words, which is an unforgivable breach of taste and decency. She disapproves of the dyed hair (my grandmother would never do such a thing, finds it very undignified), the conspicuously expensive European designer clothing, the forced plastic-surgery smile, the excessive lifestyle filled with private jets and multiple homes, all acquired with inherited money, which really gets her hard-working New Englander dander up.
Sarah Palin just plain scares her. While my grandmother is not exactly an intellectual titan, she's plenty smart enough to see how stupid Palin is. The Gibson interview didn't bother her so much, since she herself had no idea what the Bush Doctrine was either. But the Couric interviews made her realize that Palin really IS just a hockey mom hick, and shouldn't even be governing Alaska, never mind being a heartbeat away from the presidency. "Usually politicians make no sense to me because they talk about things I don't understand. But this one makes no sense because she really doesn't make any sense!", she told me. "Michelle Obama is far more qualified to be President than this Palin person, for crying out loud!" Go Gram!
And finally, Hillary Clinton. Like many non-feminist elderly women, she's never liked Hillary much. Her aggressive 'masculinity' rubs her the wrong way. But Senator Clinton's recent vigorous campaigning for Obama changed my grandmother's opinion. With the vicious competition of the primary race still fresh in her mind, and a clear sense of how much Hillary really really wanted to win, my grandmother is deeply impressed to see Hillary rise above what must be the huge disappointment and resentment she felt at losing to Obama, putting it behind her and working so hard now to get him elected. "I never thought I'd say this, but she must be a very good person. You'd have to be to do what she's doing".
Pretty cool, huh?
Moral of the story: It wasn't anything reprehensible that McCain did that converted my grandmother to Obama's side. She doesn't see him as incompetent or duplicitous or corrupt. It was rather a number of positive things that Michelle and Hillary have done and are doing.
The Democrats look collectively like "good people" to her, people with the kinds of solid principles she's always automatically associated with the Republicans - Michelle's family, Hillary's loyalty, Barack's graciousness. And she likes Biden too, thinks he's hunky handsome and finds his tragic family story very compelling. "A good man", she calls him.
So, in closing, let's all say THANKS MICHELLE and THANKS HILLARY, and thanks Barack and Joe. Thanks for being "good people".
And as long as we're thanking everyone, THANKS TO MY GRAM, who will vote on November 4th in her 17th presidential election, checking the Dem ticket for the first time in 68 years!