I know it's been awhile since 7th grade speech class. It was really great to see you get up there in front of all those people and talk. Why, I remember back when you gave that eight minute oratory on Jesus in My Life. It would have worked better if you hadn't...well, she got out of the hospital and she'll be ok. That was then, this was now. Anyway...here's my notes...
- SLOW DOWN. Really. We're still here. Nobody's getting away. When you talk so fast, the audience doesn't know what to do.
- Your audience really wanted to like you. If you look at the camera shots, you can see the genuine adoration in some of the women listening to you. They wanted, very much, to follow you. You were so busy saying the speech, you didn't deliver it.
- Try to score your speech based on the content. Remember all those little rising lines and pause marks and stuff? If you don't, I'll bet Peggy...oh never mind. In any event it is not enough to look like you really want to do it right.
- BODY LANGUAGE. You should look like you really want to be there. You should look like you believe this, even if you really want to be somewhere else. Like Mars.
Uh...not much else. I'd say don't be so mean and awful and stuff, but I know that's the job and all, and we take what we can get, so I'll skip the content. Really.
Thanks, and, well...I'm really glad you didn't listen in speech class.
Sincerely,
Bob Bobster
7th Grade Speech Teacher
note this is a JOKE I have no idea who her seventh grade speech teacher was