I was raised by a mother and father who believed that their two daughters and one son could do anything they set their minds to. Hard work and a good education, and taking education and learning seriously, were absolute values instilled in us by my parents. My parents also taught us some truly fundamental values: Do not lie. Do not cheat. Do not steal. Two wrongs don't make a right. Don't call names.
I'm a mother of a grade school age son, and like all parents of young kids, I work hard to try to teach my son right from wrong. I know, too, that part of that teaching has to do with my own behavior as a model for my son. My son watches everything I do when he's with me.
And as I watched Wednesday night's Sarah Palin speech, I could not help but think about the question of role models. (more below the flip)
It was a well-crafted speech, but frankly it was a speech characterized by sharp sarcasm, and nasty one-liners designed to put down Senator Obama; it was padded with either half-truths or outright lies. Putting aside the question of the half-truths and lies, which Palin delivered in front of her children with a gusto and verve admirable for their conviction, I felt really disturbed, as a parent, by the barrage of nasty comments and insults leveled against Senator Obama-- because that sort of cheap insult and playground one-upmanship is not what we (supposedly) teach our children is appropriate behavior.
Governor Palin filled her speech with plain old mean teasing. Put downs. Offhand remarks. Dissing. The kind of thing one might think typical in junior high and high school lunchrooms across America. But Governor Palin is running to be Vice President of the United States of America. She is not supposed to act like a high school student taunting another. She is not supposed to sound like a junior high school kid sticking out her tongue at someone she doesn't like. She is supposed to present herself as a role model for Americans and especially for American youth. And her behavior was entirely inappropriate for someone who is supposed to be a role model.
Should the President and Vice President be role models for Americans? Should they represent the best of what we aspire to teach our children, and to present to the world? These are questions I asked myself as I watched Palin's speech. I asked myself, is this sort of behavior toward others the best kind of model for our interactions with the world? Is this sort of behavior toward those one disagrees with, the best sort of behavior to try to negotiate strength and peace? At the very least, is what Governor Palin is doing-- mocking, insulting, being snide, smugly dismissing-- the sort of thing most parents want to teach their children to do in society?
And I had to answer, for myself, that Governor Palin was not presenting the best of what we adults try to teach our children with regard to proper behavior around others.
I was glad that my son was not watching the speech. I was relieved that my son was not there to see throngs of cheering people who praised the mean-spirited superciliousness of Governor Palin. How confusing that would have been for him. Palin's voice dripped sarcasm. It rang with triumph as it called Senator Obama a "nothing." My son would not have understood, because I've taught him to value respect for others, how people could cheer on such obvious disrespect.
I was saddened to think that I would not be able to permit my son to watch Palin's future speeches, if they were going to be characterized by such negative, dismissive acidity and spitefulness. If this is an election about change, then Governor Palin is not modeling the kind of change that American parents try to instill in their children every time they try to teach their kids not to tease, not to pick fights, not to hit without provocation. Governor Palin failed to show me that she would behave the way most American parents try to teach their kids is the right way to behave. How am I supposed to explain to my son that it's not okay to hurt others and insult them, but that it's okay for Governor Palin to do it?