This diary is insubstantial. It includes no soaring rhetoric, no in-depth research, no call to action. It is however a reminder to me and maybe to some of you that we can and should remember the wonderful things in our lives without losing sight of the work we have to do.
This is Jake the Wonder Dog™. Some of you may be familiar with Jake as he's a regular in C&J. Jake is a giant of a dog, part shepherd and part mastiff. He weighs around 120 lbs. He is a gentle, loving, sweet dog. Jake also has incurable, aggressive cancer. In the fall of 2007 we noticed that he was drinking tons of water, shedding like crazy and just didn't seem himself. The vet thought maybe Cushing's Disease. During an ultrasound to look for adrenal tumors, the vet found a huge tumor on his spleen which called for immediate surgery. I sat in the vet's office the day of his surgery; knitting, trying not to cry, hoping for the best. He came through the surgery beautifully and was home the next day. Then we had to wait for the pathology report--50/50 chance the tumor was an hemangiosarcoma. A particularly nasty kind of cancer, common in dogs, with a horrible prognosis.
The day the vet called with the news was devastating. Even the vet was in tears as he explained to me what this meant. Jake was given 19-60 days to live. We opted out of treatment and decided to just shower him with love and treats. I cried a lot for the next few months, waiting for my beatiful dog to die. I even made an appointment for euthanasia in February on a day when he seemed particularly sick. At the last minute and after taking him for an hour long walk I canceled the appointment. Seems he felt punky because we were loving him to death by feeding him his favorite food - canned cat food. Cat food is NOT good for dogs!
Here we are 9 months after his initial death sentence. He's getting a bit slower, but hey he's at least 12 years old. Otherwise, he's his wonderful self. Beautiful, loving and sweeter than ever. He begs for treats, barks at dogs walking by our house and continues to put up with his sidekick, Max the Neurotic Border Collie™. He buries his head in our laps and wants his ears scratched. He moans in delight when he gets those scritches.
Today, after a few hours of diary reading, posting comments in C&J and passing out Mojo I take a break and walk into the living room. There's my beautiful dog, living with a death sentence that he's unaware of, blissfully sleeping on his favorite couch. Is he not the picture of contentment?
Our life with Jake the past few months has been an emotional rollercoaster. We have, I have, come to terms with the fact that I cannot control the world and while the cancer will eventually take Jake from us, we are holding every moment with him in our hearts.
Likewise, this morning at dKos, these past few months actually have been an emotional roller-coaster:
OMG, Obama is behind in the polls
Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton Clinton
primary wars
POW POW POW POW POW POW
Palin Palin Palin Palin Palin Palin Palin
Shut up and get to work
Stop posting crappy diaries
Get off my lawn!
What the fuck is wrong with this country?
OMG, Obama's campaign is fucking up!
Shut up and get to work
Like the rest of you, I cannot imagine another four years of Republicans ruining this country. I cannot fathom why this election seems close. I scream at the tradmed for it's continuing asshattery. I'm pissed that MSNBC caved like all the rest. We're hoping, praying, sacrificing to the election gods, donating, reading blogs, talking with our neighbors and family - doing all any of us can to keep from getting screwed again.
I'm sure that all of our emotions will be on a wild ride and we'll either wake up ecstatic on Nov. 5 or make plans to move to Canada. In the meantime, let's all look around, do what we can to help make things better and take a nap when it's time.
My partner in life, RavingRev, once wrote a beautiful sermon about Jake as spiritual guide. When you take Jake for a walk, you never know where you're going. Rather than try to control him and keep him on the path you'd like, you just have to follow and hold on for dear life. But what beauty you see as he drags you along. What might we have missed had we insisted on our path.
Walking into my living room and seeing my beloved dog looking so content and happy on his favorite couch gave me a jolt. We CAN, We WILL get through this election and the ruinous mess of our country.
I'll leave with you with one last picture of Jake the Wonder Dog™ with the sincere hope that we all take strength from recognizing that we cannot control everything and sometimes the best thing to do is grab our favorite spot on the couch and have a nice, long nap. Wake up refreshed, ready to wade in again, win the election and take back our country.