Yes, I wanted to write about this 10 days ago, but I thought better of it. At least let Obama be in office for one day. But it’s coming, The Looming Great Disillusionment.
What’s that you say, give Obama a honeymoon! I did, he was PEOTUS for 85 days and that’s enough time to get things right.
Look we’re Progressives, NOT the Great Satan Repugs. And we’re better than that. I will say it here first – us/we/me-n-you Kossacks will be the worst offenders of disillusionment. It starts at home. Go look in the mirror notice those lines creeping in (yes, they were joyful just yesterday) but now OH MY! Those HWLs* are getting bigger by the hour.
*Hope Worry Lines
Your handy-dandy GD starter list is below...
The Great Disillusionment List:
Of course, the GD starts with – you guessed it – a 3:00am phone call.
3:00am #!@#$% why did Bush have to put the red phone in the bedroom. Hey, bal-shem Barack it’s Olmert. You know I/p. Bush left me your number, said to call anytime. Now about those terrorists in Gaza – we’re almost done, just a few more bombs to drop and we’ll have this mess cleaned up. What’s everyone kvetching about. Get some rest; we’ll talk about Iran tomorrow...
5:00am Gym workout. Damm O looks good. (ed. wish I had that gym in my house.)
7:00am Issuing those promised Executive Orders:
Guantanamo – E.O. #1. First day in office, shut it down. But I don’t want to get hopes up, I know it will take several years to close it down and return the detainees back to their countries. Yeah, I’m the Big O, but I can hear the GD kicking in already. M. Moore in my face about free health care and I am going to have to rush a KBR sole-source contract for the new Sandals@GuantanamoTM just to get this one off my back. Maybe Castro can help.
Water Boarding aka Torture – E.O. #2. End Torture, Black Ops, Rendition, all of it done and gone. But wait the big O can’t just let all that executive power slip through his fingers, note add torture loophole euphuism. Future POTUSs will appreciate the gesture.
Don’t Ask / Don’t Tell – E.O. #3. That’s what I said to Rick Warren ;-) Okay, look this one derailed POTUS 42 and as a student of history dammed if I am going to be stuck with that as my legacy – not after that Roberts thing yesterday. Next.
Un-do Bush Pardons – E.O. #4. Oh hell Bush, "Is a good guy", let him have some friends left to invite to his new Level 4 secure Ranch-n-Klan BBQ in Dallas.
Midnight Environmental Regs – E.O. #5. Hmmm these Official Bush Co E.O.s (OBCEOs) are going to take some time to undo. This requires our better angels of bi-partisanship, as even I know conservatives love the outdoors. Why Cheney was just telling me how important wolf hunting is. And Clean Coal needs me. Even Rick Warren was saying how purpose-driven Christians are stewards of the land and liberals are their flock. Hmmm...this is getting confusing and inconvenient. The earth has been around a long time, let’s put it off to my second term.
12:30pm Lunch with Krauthammer & Gang. Who wants those pesky liberals like Greenwald or Hamsher around? All they do is ask questions and leave boxes of petitions on the front lawn. At least with these guys I can get a bite in.
1:30pm Review prosecution list w/Holder:
Prosecute Bush/Cheney & Co for torture! Slam-dunk! After all no one is above the constitution, the law of the land, right Eric. But, you know, Cheney left me a note about unitary executive power making friends at DOJ. And I’ve been thinking our plate is pretty full and we have to move forward.
Cue: Utter silence of a sensory deprivation room at some far off rendition site.
Background: (dog barks)
Prosecute Wall Street! Nah they just got Madoffed for $50B, why should they suffer any more. And hey, I just got here and really half my campaign funds came from my new WSBFFs. Let Geithner handle it, like his tax returns. He’s smart and in charge of the IRS now too. Next.
Prosecute DOJ hiring! Now here’s a clear-cut case of executive branch abuse. Eric, form a review team, have everyone at DOJ background checked. Identify those with Roberts, Scalia, or Thomas pictures on their desks. Oh wait that would be just what Bush did...hmmm better drop it.
Prosecute Iraq War Contractors! I think we need to look to Gates and the Pentagon for guidance here. After all they are the experts. General Petraeus even said the electrical surge was working in the KBR latrines. Didn’t seem so bad when I flew over in a helicopter. Let DOD deal with this one. They can clean up the VA as well.
Prosecute Eavesdropping Telcos! You know Eric; this is where I draw the constitutional line in the sand. Stand my ground like George and Abe before me. I think the exclusive question here is has a crime been committed without proof of misdeeds? Who hears a wiretap click in the forest of a fiber optic switch? WWBUSHD? You see my dilemma don’t you? This is really a national security question after all.
5:00pm Got to whip through these last items and get home to see Michelle and the girls.
Health Care. Been reading through the POTUS & Family plan Certificate. Hey, this is pretty good, full coverage for life, helicopter at the ready (no deductable for emergency transport), and in-house checkups with only a $5 co-pay. Wow! I can’t wait to tell my Senate BFFs (if Joe doesn’t shoot off his big mouth first). Note to self – look into getting the new hoops court covered as a "Stress Reduction Prosthesis".
Global Warming. Got to stop driving around in those convoys of SUVs, especially The Beast. Yeah I look good in black, but this is too much. Note to self – find out where Bush hid the light switch for the new house.
Economy. I know, I know. I promised to lower taxes, raise incomes, create five million new jobs, lower interest rates, stop home foreclosures and end world poverty. Ring-rring. Hello. BARACK! This is Michelle and I’m on J. Crew.com and my credit card has been denied! Calm down honey, I just put in that new TARP deposit into Lehman Brothers Bank – hmmm better get Geithner and Bernanke on the line just to make sure.
Now where were we on that Blackberry problem...this hurting my POTUS Image 2.0...if this isn’t fixed by tomorrow someone is going to get outsourced!
Bonus analysis: Silver nails it again! KOS Great Disillusionment multiplier effect of 2.239 for 146 disillusionment diaries posted in the next 24-hours. (Sounds bad, but remember this is only day one for Big O.) Let him have some time to really build up the disillusionment, say we wait out the next 100 days.
Update K: Bush’s GD total was 1,999,999,999,999,999,999999999 after eight years.
h/t To all of us patient enough to let Barack Obama have some time in office, to work with him when he is right, and call him out when he is, reality-based, wrong.
As Bishop Robinson said:
Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be "fixed" anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah
HOPE TAKES WORK
May your tears be ones of joy.
May your heart always hold hope.
Yes. We. Can. Make. Hope. Reality.