Ladies and Gentlemen -- DON'T DELAY!
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (Ineffectual - NV) NEEDS YOU!
Here's how you can help:
SEND A PAIR TO HARRY!
That's right -- for a limited time only, you can send a set of UNCLE SAMMY'S STAINLESS STEEL BALL BEARINGS (two per order) and make sure Harry has the 'nads he needs to pass health care reform WITH A ROBUST PUBLIC OPTION!
Only $9.95 (plus shipping and handling). That's right! Only $9.95 for a set of two one-inch diameter, pure stainless steel ball bearings, polished to a brilliant luster and delivered in a fine calfskin purse.
And, if you act NOW, we'll include, at no extra cost, one of UNCLE SAMMY'S LUMBAR SUPPORTS -- 15 inches of PURE, "ALL-AMERICAN" STAINLESS ROD (made in Mexico) that is GUAR-AN-TEED to stiffen ANY spine!
That's right! For just $9.95 you get BOTH -- a set of the UNCLE SAMMY'S stainless steel balls AND the 15-inch stainless lumbar rod -- delivered to Sen. Reid's office in Washington!
Ladies and Gentlemen, if ever there was a time to act, it is NOW!
SEND HARRY A PAIR! TODAY!
He needs 'em!
[snark]
[h/t Billy Mays]