So yesterday my sister Jane forwarded an email to me, one of those typically vicious viral messages with 10 to 15 pictures of foreign cemeteries where U.S. soldiers are buried, mostly in Europe from the two world wars. The subject was "Apologize to no one," and the gist of the pictures and captions was that all these Americans had died for the freedom of others. The last paragraph was the kicker: It claimed that in apologizing for American arrogance in Europe and the Middle East, Obama diminished the service and sacrifice of the military and called it into question.
I don't even want to get into the discussion of the military and who sacrifices what. And I don't know what Jane thought I would do, but the sender's name (Dick) and email address were on the original message, so I emailed back directly to him...Whoa!
Follow over the fold for the family contretemps that...well, unfolded.
Here's the message I sent Dick:
Hello Dick,
I received your email and wonder why you would think that the sacrifice of our soldiers is questioned by anyone. Since the two European wars that took place about 90 and 60 years ago, respectively, our soldiers have continued to nobly fight and die. But their sacrifice has been mostly in the service of ill-thought out and, yes, arrogant policies of the government, acquiesced to by sell-out politicians who are owned and operated by greedy multinational corporations that are not loyal to the United States or any other nation.
Here’s how I see it: We should give our thanks to and take pride in the service of the military. But it does not change the record of the politicians that is largely shameful.
I would also add that your message, which uses the heroism of the military to insult the president, is offensive. If you disagree with his policies, so be it. But I hope you never again stand behind the dead to make a cheap hit and run attack that is improperly directed and has no basis in fact. Indeed, there is every evidence that President Obama thinks long and hard to make sure there are worthwhile, attainable objectives before committing the lives of our troops – a welcome change.
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Tonight, I went to a volunteer appreciation dinner and came home to my sister's email, which begins with an email from Dick to my sister (after he had received my email):
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Dear Jane,
I am as apolitical as anyone can get. Other than the educational stuff that I send out, such as what you sent to me today, I also send out things to make you laugh. These are not sent out to make you read between the lines. This is obviously your sister or mother who wrote to me and I have no idea how they got into the act since this was sent to you. At first the easy thing for me to do was to delete this message and forget about it but it kept nagging me so here I am. Either your relative is reading your mail or you forwarded my message with the same intent as I forwarded it to you and all of my other friends. I do not take kindly to this message or to receive messages from people I do not know.
Love . . . Dick
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Jane makes a short comment to me, followed by a craven email back to Dick:
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(Jane to me):
I responded to him and needed to tidy things up a bit:
Hi Dick,
My older sister, Roadette wrote this to you without any understanding of our friendship and I am so sorry that she wrote to you in that tone of voice. She is my political sister and what a way to meet each other! As you can see, she does love Obama and is concerned as I am, about the republican rhetoric against him and the current condition of the U.S.
I will tell her that you are my good friend and that she needs to be circumspect regarding this type of response. I am somewhat surprised that she took the time to write this but I'm not astonished.
If you met her, I think you'd find her quite mentally stimulating and I am certain that you would like her if you ever met her. I think she lives for energetic confrontation and she missed the boat on being a lawyer! She'd be so rich right now if she'd gone down that path, I guarantee you.
Roadette has written 5 or 6 books. She is a professor and chair of a Communication Department and is working on a video piece about the efficacy of cancer centers that utilize alternative medicine along with traditional approaches. I am certain that if you dared to email her any response she'd answer back and give you thought-provoking dialog.
I am compassionate toward you when I think about the judgement in her response. She is definately defending whom she holds dear (Obama) and I will ask her to please be respectful in communicating in future with you if she does.
I hope that you can forgive my sister and I will have a word with her. I would be sad if this affected you a great deal as you and your family are a wonderful to me.
Jane
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First, I was just surprised. Then I was mad. Then I laughed my ass off, one of those FOTFLOL moments, and sent her the following email. I can hardly wait to get her reply and to LOL...again:
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Hey Jane, I’m sorry that my message put you in a difficult position. (Pretty funny that he thought it might be from Mom!) However, I wish I had known he was your friend, as I would have just let it go. As it was, you correctly interpreted my belief that the email was one of those nasty viral messages that whackjob wingnuts are always sending around.
I’m a little surprised that you didn’t stand up for me, though. You blame me and apologize on my behalf, then sing my praises and accomplishments, and wrap the shit sandwich up by saying that you will "have a word with me" as though I were a recalcitrant employee. My remarks were perfectly circumspect and as respectful as his message deserved. If you are determined that an apology is necessary, you can always offer one for forwarding his email without asking him and without telling me that he was a close friend.
Should I ever communicate with Dick, I will naturally take into account that he is your friend and be grateful to him for supporting you in a difficult time. However, as he so succinctly stated: Never apologize. And in this instance, I don’t think I would. Honestly, I don’t think I have anything to apologize for.
And really, don’t you think your request that he "try to forgive me" is just a little over the top? Geez, you’d think I murdered his child. No...he took a cheap shot and I called him on it. Big deal. It bothered him...that’s a good thing. Maybe there’s hope for him.
I also want to say that I don’t love Obama. I think he gets up every day and works as hard as he can on behalf of all of us and the country – far more than any corporation and most politicians. I don’t always agree with him and I don’t support everything he does. I don’t even hold him dear...but I do appreciate him, his calm, thoughtfulness, and rhetorical inspiration.
Well, Janie girl, this is the price you pay for having stimulating friends....to say nothing of sharp-tongued (sharp-fingered) older sisters. I expect this will all seem pretty unimportant when the next crisis rolls around. And I certainly depend on you for your love and support – so I regret that I caused difficulty in your relationship with your friend.
Love, Roadette