The notion of marrying the man or woman you love and spending the rest of your lives together is a dream shared by many people in the United States and around the world. Civil Marriage as a right derived from state and federal government helps the couple move their lives along with a host of rights, responsibilities, and privelages. This is a positive social development by promoting monogamous, healthy, and life long love that you share with the man or woman that you love. Civil Marriage, therefore, is a legal and social institution that is separate from the religious conception of Marriage. While a Heterosexual couple can indeed attain both the religious sacrament of Marriage is optional and does not confer any of the legal rights that a Civil Marriage does. All too often there is a misconception in our society that Civil Marriage and the sacrament of Marriage offered by a house of worship are one in the same when they are in fact not. The debate over Marriage Equality for Lesbian and Gay couples continues to rage in the United States as victories for equality are attained and then rolled back by the popular vote in states like California and Maine. Please follow me below the fold for more discussion.
I have been in a loving, committed, and wonderful relationship with my Boyfriend for over six months now. We have been through great times and some difficult times too as any relationship tends to go through. He has heard and seen me cry my eyes out over difficult moments in my life that I have dealt with. We all have stressors in our life that act as barriers to our success whether we are Heterosexual or Gay. Overall, this relationship has enriched my life because his understanding, intelligent, and kind-hearted being is here for me as much as I am for him. At the end of the day this is what romance and love should be about. It is about commitment to one another and being there as a shoulder to cry on as well as laugh uproariously with. I have never understood why so many people in the United States still see Gay and Lesbian individuals relationships as being separate and less worthy of the same protections, rights, and responsibilities from our government.
Thankfully many diarists have been keeping the DKos community updated upon the ongoing situation in Uganda. In fact, there is some slightly positive news from such a potentially horrifying and sad situation. According to an article in the Advocate written by its editor which state:
Life imprisonment and the death penalty will be dropped from a revised version of Uganda’s antigay bill, which is expected to be presented to parliament in two weeks, according to James Nsaba Buturo, the minister of ethics and integrity.
Still, he said, the government supports more refined methods of punishment, including counseling to help "attract errant people to acceptable sexual orientation."
While it is positive that the most harsh measures have been taken out of the bill there still remains horrible human rights violations in the form of advocating things like Reparative therapy. Essentially, the notion espoused by this is that Gay people can be converted into Straight people. However, with the religious right in the United States promoting this very practice here against Gay and Lesbian Americans the problem becomes apparent. The ongoing prejudice that continues to emotionally and psychologically harm otherwise normal and functioning LGBT people is an international human rights crisis directly related to the very forces that keep Gay and Lesbian people from the civil right of civil marriage.
In fact, if anything, such Reparative or Conversion therapy as it is called has an inherent bias against the LGBT person. Why? The term reparative implies there is something wrong that needs to be changed, and conversion into a person that LGBT individual is not. This assault against LGBT identity and our being is the manifestation of the bigotry and misconceptions about our lives and love that maintains inequality in the United States as well as abroad. In fact, the American Psychological Association posted a section about LGBT issues which states:
Can Therapy Change Sexual Orientation?
No; even though most homosexuals live successful, happy lives, some homosexual or bisexual people may seek to change their sexual orientation through therapy, often coerced by family members or religious groups to try and do so. The reality is that homosexuality is not an illness. It does not require treatment and is not changeable. However, not all gay, lesbian, and bisexual people who seek assistance from a mental health professional want to change their sexual orientation. Gay, lesbian, and bisexual people may seek psychological help with the coming out process or for strategies to deal with prejudice, but most go into therapy for the same reasons and life issues that bring straight people to mental health professionals.
The APA also issued a resolution to combat non-science and prejudice in which they state:
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, That the American Psychological Association advises parents, guardians, young people, and their families to avoid sexual orientation change efforts that portray homosexuality as a mental illness or developmental disorder and to seek psychotherapy, social support and educational services that provide accurate information on sexual orientation and sexuality, increase family and school support, and reduce rejection of sexual minority youth;
Thus, as we can clearly see, sexual orientation cannot be changed or converted as so many of these Conservative and or religious organizations like to state. In fact, if anything, they might be contributing to the pain of the LGBT person who must deal with prejudice and discrimination both on the social and legal levels. The fact that some of these patients of so called conversion therapy end with major depressive episodes that lead to suicide speaks to the immorality of such a therapy. So, while it is a positive development to see the Uganda anti-Gay bill drop the most horrific components of it, there is still the promotion of degradation and discrimination against LGBT people.
How does this vast amount of information connect to the Marriage Equality movement in the United States? The answer is simple. The more nations in the world that grant LGBT people full equality under the law including on the basis of relationship recognition and rights the greater moral authority the world has to stop such horrible things from happening around the world. Can we, the United States, truly stand on such a moral highground when in most states it is still perfectly legal to fire an employee just based on her or his sexual orientation? The same can be said for our military which is supposed to be an organization representing our freedom even as Gay women and men hypocritically get kicked out of the military only for being Gay.
It is not just the legal barriers to success in the sense of actual accomplishment that holds back LGBT people in the United States. This type of openly tolerated separatism, discrimination, and ignorace that is law gives credence to a horrible bill like the one that is being considered in the nation of Uganda, and let me explain to you why. When a nation decrees by law through Don't Ask Don't Tell that it is illegal to be openly Lesbian or Gay in the military it sends the message of silence and shame. It adds to the existing social stigma against LGBT people because having such bigotry codified in law gives credence to other nations that wish to adopt anti- LGBT policies in various nations around the world. It could become a disturbing domino effect.
Thus, the United States would have far greater moral authority in the world to decry horrible or potential human rights violations against the LGBT community if LGBT people were actually fully equal before the laws of the United States including being granted equal access to the civil right of civil marriage. When people argue against anything at all or ask Gay people to enter into civil unions or domestic partnerships this is the very discrimination and separatism that is a part of the broader anti-LGBT cognition around the world. By the United states refusing to acknowledge the dignity and equality of its LGBT citizens we undermine our own position in the world to speak out against such terrible things as what could have happened in Uganda.
The lack of Marriage Equality at the federal level here in the United States not only harms us by depriving us from the over 1,318 rights afforded to a civil marriage. It is an outright display in the form of legal discrimination to note the ongoing prejudice that informs thinking around the world. If the United States wants to be a beacon of hope, freedom, and justice to the rest of the world then our laws must begin to reflecting such treatment of LGBT people sooner rather then later. I cannot even imagine what it must be like for LGBT people living in nations which are even more openly hostile and sometimes violent through government order against them. We must give these people hope by what the United States does with its own policies regarding LGBT people.
To the individuals across this planet who continue to argue for our inequality, conversion through reparative therapy, and even our death I ask of you this: Please, I beg of you to stop fanning the flames of hatred and discrimination that scorches the earth in its wake. Do you not realize the needless pain and suffering you are causing people around the globe in your hateful activism? I wish you could see and fully understand all of the hurt and discrimination you are bringing about in this world against perfectly normal, kind, and wonderful people. Some of you don't fully realize what you are doing while other people realize full well the weight of their words and actions. This promotion of bigotry and hatred must stop if we are to have a more peaceful world in which LGBT people are respected.
My Boyfriend and I have not even brought up the idea of marriage yet. It is something that will likely be later in the future for us. However, the point is, that we should have that right when we are ready. Stop for a moment to reflect upon all of the Lesbian and Gay couples who were together for decades longer then half of the married Heterosexual couples that end in divorce. Many of them did not live to see full equality and equal treatment of their relationship under United States law. The time for civil rights is always now. This issue is about three core issues: love, fairness, and equality under our law. When Marriage Equality along with all of the other LGBT civil rights issues are the law of the land in the United states we will have the moral authority in the world to make a greater impact upon human rights issues across the board.